A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Posts tagged ‘LGBT’

Funny Letter to a Bible-Thumper

If you’re an easily offended Christian, you may not want to read this. You still can. And should. And you could even comment if you like. 

I find this hilarious every time I come across it and read it. Decided to share it today.

Ever get tired of people throwing Bible verses at you, and using religion as an excuse for condemning homosexuality? Well, this is something I came across many years ago, and I still laugh every time I read it.

On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

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Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

Source: http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=217897

On a serious note, can we not agree that The Bible is… Well… Ancient? The Old Testament is nice for history, but I don’t know about its usefulness and relevance in the world today. I mean, even in Bible times they realized that there was a need for the updated version of God’s Word. Judge now, a zillion years later. Okay, so it hasn’t been that long. But still. I think God should speak to some holy men so they could write us a Newer Testament. No? I think I’ll talk Him about this directly.

 

 

Keep Your Own Marriage Straight

Day 18 – Your views on gay marriage

“With some much sadness in the world, when two people find happiness, it’s a celebration!” [Words of a friend during a conversation about equality, gay rights, and marriage.]

I don’t have views specific to gay marriage. I have views on marriage.

Marriage is a commitment and legal union between and of two people. It’s one of those things that keeps evolving, and lots people kick and scream throughout the evolution as if they are directly effected. It’s quite funny, actually. In a hundred years, people will look back at the fight for/against gay marriage in the same way that we look and scoff at the days when interracial and interclass marriage was a big no-no. The same way that we look at the 1800s when we read about young girls being made to marry older dukes because it would be good for the family.

Do a little research. Look at the history of marriage. This institution that we make a huge deal about. Women were forced to marry male heirs (sometimes close relatives) for money and/or to boost or maintain her family name. Couples were forced together by way of arranged marriage. Marriage “for love” only really came about some time in the 18th century. Even then, there were barriers. If the family said no, it was a no. The 20th century saw the rises and falls of marriage for love. Let’s date! No need to get married though. Oh, wait! Nuclear families are the “in” thing! MUST MARRY! Wait, we’re all on happy juice, wearing our bell-bottomed jeans and t-shirts with peace signs all over them. ALL WE NEED IS LOOOOOVE. *butterfly and glitter float through the air* Marriage? PSSH! And HELLOOOOO, 2000! The ultimate expression of love is marriage with a lavish wedding. Gotta get a ring!

Somewhere in there, marriage become super-religious. How? I have no idea. It’s ridiculous. Which Christian came up with the brilliant idea that marriage is a Christian thing and should follow the rules of The Bible? [Slight tangent: Do we even know those people who wrote The Bible? Didn’t The Bible have an update known as “The New Testament” shortly after the first part? It’s been thousands of years, hasn’t it? Is it not time for a new version? Times have changed even more now than they had between the period of not being able to eat certain meats and suddenly being able to eat them because they were made clean. Right? Anyway, I digress…] I have the same question for every other religion out there that thinks it owns the rights to marriage. It’s LEGAL. Not religious. Now, of course, some of us have religious beliefs that somehow become intertwined with our marriage ceremonies and marriage lives. Fine. To each his own.

I believe that every marriage, gay or not, is separate and unto itself. The people in the union decide what it is all about. Today, we have Make Your Own Rules Marriages. WOO! Fun, right? Pick a guy. Pick a girl. Do it for love. Do it for stability. Do it for fear of eternal loneliness. Do it because you’re pregnant and don’t want to look like a bad person. Do it because you need residency/citizenship. Do it because you’re drunk and really close to a wedding chapel. Do it because you’ve been a relationship for really long and people keep asking what you’re waiting for. Do it because you really just need to live out your dream. Wedding, that is. Do it for whatever reason you like.

As long as the other person in the union is in on it, I cry no foul. It does not effect me AT ALL whether you marry someone of your own race, someone of my race, someone of various races, someone of the male species or the female species. I don’t care. Really, I don’t. I don’t even care if you get a divorce.

That brings me to another point. For the people who think gay marriage somehow brings down the institution of marriage, PLEASE have a look at the people who have been doing it wrong and failing at it for years and years and years. Does that not bring down the institution of marriage?! In any case, how do you need to measure the value of your marriage against marriages of others?! You probably have some issues of your own, and you may want to look into them before you end up in Divorce Court.

Final word on gay marriage – I’m not against it. Actually, I’m for it. And I’ll probably end up being a part of one. *shrugs* Does that affect you at all? Probably not. I think it’s past the time where we need to stop boxing people in. It’s time to stop trying to force people to live by our rules and standards. It’s time to stop trying to make it ILLEGAL for people to go against our beliefs when it does not hurt us in any way. It’s time to LIVE OUR OWN LIVES and be happy, and allow others to do the same. Go to bed with whoever you please at night. Wear matching rings with that person. Have babies. Be legally united. Share income, debt, taxes, healthcare… And be happy. And allow others to do the same.

Better things to be loud and crazy and raise hell about: Cure for cancer, cure for AIDS, reducing cost of healthcare, reducing cost of medication, the social system, consumerism (and methods of advertising, particularly through children), the education system, cost of higher education, illiteracy, lack of water, food, and sanitation (while single people ride around in luxury SUVs and unspeakable amounts of food end up in the garbage), war.

Remember, it’s better to be gay than to be miserable. 🙂