A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Posts tagged ‘holiday’

It’s No Day Off

Not only is it Thankful Thursday today… It’s Thanksgiving Day. It’s not a holiday in The Bahamas. All together now: BOOOOOOOOOO! Yeah. It sucks. It would be nice to have an entire day at home to sit in the living room, watching tv, waiting for the turkey to be done. Or whatever people do. We don’t have ANY holidays in November. No fair! It’s annoying to think of some of our holidays. We seriously had a holiday called “Colombus Day” which became “Discovery Day” when clearly, Colombus is no hero, and he was NOT the first to set foot upon this land. He DID manage to enslave people. BRAVOOOOO! Anyway, I digress. The point is… Um… What was it again? Basically, I think it’s worth having a holiday to remind people to be THANKFUL. (Un)luckily, this counry is full of psuedo/wannabe-Americans, so we copycat. It’s not a holiday, but there are a LOT turkeys being eaten right now.

I liked Thanksgiving in Halifax when I lived there. Mind you, it was in October. That was fine by me. It was best when I worked for the youth organization. I had three young women living with me. There was also a male home and a co-ed home. For Thanksgiving, we came up with a menu, split it up among the houses, and had sort of a potluck. FUN TIMES! We had a great time cooking together, and then coming together to share the meal, as well as good times. I miss that. A lot. I look forward to having a house full again. A family of my own to feed and sit around the dinner table with. And laugh. And share stories. And love.

I wish for a lot of things. I hope for a lot of things too. I don’t talk about them too much, but they still ARE. And they come up from time to time, so people know. I just don’t harp on them. I know most people are going on about what they’re thankful for today. I won’t break that up by making a list of things I’ll be thankful for SOMEday, but just HOPE for today. Partly because I need to be thankful today, and partly because I don’t feel like crying over the things that have not come to be as yet. Okay, okay. I probably wasn’t gonna actually CRY. You get the point though, right?

SO! I don’t get a day off to do it, but I’m taking some time (on my lunch break) to be thankful. My thankfulness begins now.

I’m thankful for the tears. Every drop. Every moment of sadness. Every time that I could not find the words, and there was no action I could (see to) take. Those times when I just sat down, and let the tears roll. For letting go of whatever the problem was, even if it was just enough to let my body heave, let my eyes get puffy, and let myself feel whatever was going on, and releasing just a little bit of those  feelings in every single tear. Now that I’ve cried and allowed myself to feel sadness, I can appreciate the happiness that I now enjoy. I appreciate the smiles. The laughter. The good times.

I’m thankful for the people who did me wrong. For the hurt, the pain, and the unnecessary drama they brought to my life. Now, I can appreciate the beautiful people around me. The people who mean me well. The people who want to see me be happy, and they want it enough to contribute to my happiness. I can appreciate good relationships. Genuine people. Supportive people.

I’m thankful for my moments of weakness. The times when I made the wrong decision because it was easier than the right one. The choices I made because of pressure. The times when I felt that I wasn’t good enough, or strong enough. Now, I can appreciate the strength that I have. My hard-headedness. My resolve. My complete unwillingness to back down when I know that I am right. My ability to make the right choice. My ability to stand up when no one else will, and to be the only voice speaking calmly against the fury of many.

I’m thankful for the times that I was completely alone. The times when I was in relationships with people that were not right for me. I thankful for the people who have overlooked me, not recognized my worth, and did not treat me as I deserved to be treated. Now, I can appreciate the most amazing person in the world loving me without condition, and telling me what I mean to her. I can appreciated the love that we share and the life that we have together.

I’m thankful for my hungry days. No, I’ve never starved. I’ve never gone hungry for more time than it took to get to the fridge/counter/restaurant of my choice. But I have hungered. For love, affection, attention, purpose, a better life… I’m not hungry for those things any more. Now, I can appreciate satisfaction. Fullness. The love, affection, attention, purpose, and better life that I have today. And everyone and everything that helped to make it possible.

I’m thankful for the insane things that have happened in my life. The finanical difficulties. The abuse. The bad relationships. The stress. The hatred. The dread. The imprisonment. I can appreciate the story that my life tells. I can appreciate all of the little stories that lie within me. My ability to retell them. To write them. To help other people. To understand other people. The ability to let things go. To forgive, and to forget. To learn and to grow.

I’m thankful for the years that I was in complete bondage. When what other people thought of me was who I was, and what other people expected of me was what I did. When I limited myself. When all I could do was what was in the expectations of other people for me. When I was not defined by possibility or potential. Just by the people who treated me and spoke to and about me like a chicken. Now, I can appreciate my eagle days. I fully appreciate my ability and willingness to fly. To go wherever I want to do whatever it is that I want to do. The new eyes that I see through. The way that I am able to look at myself now. The goals that I set, and then achieve. They are not taken lightly, because I had to fight (even if the battle was partly with myself) for the freedom. I can appreciate that I am no longer enslaved. Or limited. Or bound by the thoughts, opinions, or expectations of anyone else.

I’m thankful the things I’ve lost. The pounds (not in body weight) I’ve shed. The friends I’ve dropped. The family I’m not in close contact with. The things I have forgotten. I can appreciate the things that take up all of my space. My mental space, my emotional space, my physical space. I appreciate and accept that things are as they should be. I have all that I need. What I don’t have, I don’t need. I’m breathing. And what’s more than that, I’m LIVING. What else could I ask for?

Today, I hope that everyone is thankful. If on no other day, think of the reasons you have to be thankful. You may not be thankful to anyone in particular. Maybe it’s God. Maybe it’s the universe. Maybe it’s chance. Maybe it’s just plain ol’ thankfulness. Gratitude. If you’re not thankful, it’s because you don’t have the right perspective. If that’s the case, I encourage you to go find it. Movement, colour, air, sustainence, technology, an active brain, the capacity to love, freedom of speech, friends, family, opportunity… Most of these are FREE. Some of them, we fight for. Some of them, other people have fought for. Some of them are luxuries to other people. ALL of them are things to be thankful for. But who am I to tell you what to be thankful for? It’s not my place. It’s yours. Take a seat upon the throne of thankfulness. See how good it feels.

Join the Thankful Thursday fun!

What are you thankful for today?

Holiday!

“Discovery Day” is October 12. We celebrate it in The Bahamas. At some point, the name of it changed to “National Heroes’ Day.” Today, I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a holiday. (They move holidays to Fridays quite often to make them long weekends.) YAY. This picture pretty much sums up my feelings on the whole “discovery” thing:

It’s just missing the part where we make the people get all of their valuables to give them to us. And pick and choose who we’ll carry with us to be our slaves. Yeah. Columbus was some kinda guy, eh? A real hero. Pssh!

Excitement: New Job

I’m on vacation! Well, sort of. My last day at the furniture store was yesterday. I was fairly busy. I was training a salesperson to take over my position (which was NOT an easy task), catch up on filing (yes, I left it for the last minute), deleting/emailing to myself all of the personal junk from the computer, etc. The GM came in my office yesterday morning and said, “Well, this is your last day, madam.” I smiled and nodded. She went on to tell me that it was a pleasure, I did a great job, she was sorry to see me go, etc. She also alluded to the fact that I was underpaid, and it was not unnoticed. I felt good about the little chat, as brief as it was. She wished me luck and success, and said she’s sure it will work out.

I’m VERY excited about the new job. I smile to myself when I think of how happy and completely satisfied I expect that I will be in my new position. I keep sort of “checking myself” because I’m not a fan of high expectations. They often lead to disappointment. I don’t like disappoint. BUT. I don’t expect to be disappointed. Yeah, I know how much (or how little) sense that makes. Just go with it. I officially start work on Monday, so I have a nice long weekend. On Saturday, I’ll be meeting with the co-founder of the organization. I expect that we’ll just be going over things, planning my first days, setting goals, etc. My office will be in the same building that she works in, but she probably won’t be there. She has a full time job outside of the organization. I’m excited about the meeting. I want to learn more about what I’ll be doing. EXCITED! I keep using that word, but there’s no other word to express this. I’M EXCITED!

Scrambled eggs, turkey bacon (nice and crispy), half a grilled cheese sandwich, and half a banana with nutella

Today, Babe and I slept in a little, had a nice breakfast, and headed out for errands. We did some things, Babe had a meeting, and now we’re hanging out at a little cafe downtown. Internet. YAY! Tonight, we run. It’ll be my fourth training session. I’m tracking my 5k training here.

Tomorrow is a holiday. We plan to sleep in a little, have a good breakfast, and do fun things. We’ll likely go for native food and sip daiquiris in the sun. Aaah, yes. The life. Island life. I like the days when I get to really LIVE it. And enjoy it. I’m hoping it won’t be TOO busy, being a holiday and everything.

I’m hoping to get to some WiFi to post on the weekend. If not, I’ll definitely update on Monday. Have a wonderful weekend. Make sure you get out and do something FUN!

Canada Day

Canada Day. Apparently, we don’t recognize Canadian holidays in The Bahamas. No matter how huge it is. FOOLISHNESS, I say! We should all take time to celebrate the red and white. I wanted to be in Canada, but alas, I found myself at work. In Nassau. Bahamas. Blaaah.

If I was in Halifax, I would have started the day with breaky at Cora’s or Smitty’s. Then, I would have made my way to Brunswick Street to watch the Royal Nova Scotia Int’l Tattoo Parade. After the parade, I would have walked down to the boardwalk and spent time in the little shops, had a beavertail, indulged in some Cows ice cream, taken the ferry to Alderney Landing for the free concert… It would have been a full, fun, festive holiday. I was at my desk. At work. Did I mention that?

I’m pretty smart. I found a way to quietly celebrate. On this inside. RED and WHITE! I had a KitKat and a can of Coca-Cola. I felt Canada running through my veins. In the form of caffeine. Via soda and chocolate. It was great.

Next year, I’m hoping to really be there. Since I couldn’t be there this year, I did what I could. When I got home, I reminisced a bit and Babe indulged me as I went through pictures and videos and told stories. I miss it there. I will be back!

In Celebration of Canada Day - Red and White - KitKat + Coke

In Celebration of Canada Day – Red and White – KitKat + Coke