A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Posts tagged ‘compliments’

Unidentical Ears (Day 12 of 30 Days of Truth)

Day 12 – Something you never get compliments on

People dish out compliments on some weird things sometimes. Sometimes, they miss out obvious things. Maybe because they think some things are over-complimented. Maybe it’s because they feel like it breaks them down to build someone else up. It’s so much easier to “hate” on a person than it is to say, “You know what? This certain thing in particular about you… It really freaking ROCKS, and you should know it.” Or they just don’t take the time to notice. Or feel the need to comment. Or a million other reasons. *shrugs*

What do I never get complimented on? This is tough. I’ve even been complimented on my feet, and I think that is just STRANGE. My feet are not great, by any means.

*thinks really hard*

Oh, I know! My ears! No one ever tells me I have great ears. People tell me I’m a great listener all the time, but they don’t seem to notice the body parts that make it possible. It’s a shame, really. I do have great ears. They’re beautiful. They’re even more special now. They don’t match. I had surgery on my right ear, and it’s not quite like the left one any more.

The Surgery Story

Tragus Piercing (Google Images)

I got my tragus pierced in July 2010. It was quick, easy, and painless. It looks great. I’ve never taken the ring out of it. It’s a captive bead ring. Stainless steel. Plain and simple. I get compliments on it all the time. People think is super cute and different. I just plain like it. Ok. Fast forward to 2011. I decide I want my rook pierced. It’s super cute. I want the barbell. I get Babe to go with me to have it done before we headed to Atlantis to chaperone my nephew’s sleepover. I looked at the chart of the ear and its various piercings and decide that I should do the snug first. Those would be my last two piercings. The snug, and then the rook. I choose a ring with green balls on the ends. I’m excited. I get it pierced. It doesn’t really hurt. Feels fine. I’m thrilled.

WELL. Days later, it’s quite swollen. And red. And oozing. I clean it like I’m supposed to. I insist that it’s fine and it should be swollen and a bit oozy at first because of where it is. I keep going back to the piercer who tells me it’s fine, and we just need to keep squeezing it to get the crap out. Eventually, she takes the ring out, and I go there daily to have it squeezed. Weeks later, Babe has had enough. It’s far too large. It even looks painful. She calls a relative who is a doctor and he suggests we see a particular doctor. A plastic surgeon.

Here’s how the visit went:

[Doctors enters room]

Doctor: Ok, so what can I do for you toda— WHAT. DID YOU DO. TO YOUR EAR?!

Me: [nervous laugh] Pierced it.

Doctor: Oh, my GOD.

Me: Oh. No. It’s not good if you’re saying, “Oh, my GOD.”

Doctor: No. It isn’t good. Your ear is badly infected.

Me: [blinks] Oh.

Doctor: We are going to have to operate. Right now.

Me: NOW?!

Doctor: Yes, right away. We can do it here. It’s very serious.

Me: [tears roll down cheeks]

Doctor: Listen. We have to do this. You could lose your entire ear. We’re going to try to save it.

Me: [cries]

Doctor: Do you want to call someone?

Me: *shakes head*

Doctor: Ok, this is what is going to happen. [foreign language and combinations of words I’m not listening to at all b/c my brain is stuck on SURGERY when I thought I’d come in, and he’d use a needle really quickly to drain my ear.]

Me: [cries quietly]

Doctor: Are you sure you don’t want to call someone? Is that your friend out in the waiting area?

Me: Yes.

Doctor: Do you want me to call her?

Me: *nods while crying quietly*

[Doctor goes out of room. He comes back with T who looks very somber and sits down next to me and hold my hand. The doctor explains that he’ll do the surgery in house which is better than going to a hospital and staying overnight. He tells us that he will stick me a few times to numb my ear, then he’ll make two incisions (one at the front and one at the back of my ear) to drain the infection out. He makes it clear that he will do his best, but can’t guarantee that he can save my ear, or that it will ear look the same again. This is when I cry more. T makes a call to my sister to let her know what was up. My sister wants to be there, but she can’t leave work due to a training session. She calls our older sister who is off from work (not feeling well), and jumps up and flies to the doctor’s office to be with me.]

RANDOM NOTE: PEOPLE. PLEASE. Piercings are really cool, but BE CAREFUL. Do your research. find the best piercer possible. Ask questions. If anything seems wrong, go back to your piercer. If you have any doubt about what he/she says, see someone else. Another piercer. A doctor. Even at a walk-in clinic. Online forums are good too. I posted ONE picture, and they told me right away that something was VERY wrong.

Well, the procedure took a few minutes. T held my hand the whole time, and my sister rubbed my leg and told funny stories. I just laid there, quietly crying. When it was done, the doctor had to pack my ear with gauze, to give it shape. The infection ate away at my cartilage, so he really had to build it back. My entire ear was covered when he was done, and the gauze was wrapped around my head. I looked like I could have just had brain surgery. This was done on a Monday. I went back on Wednesday and Friday for dressing changes. By the next week, I didn’t need the full headwrap. I could dress it myself. But I didn’t. T did it for me. Every day and night. About a week after that, I graduated to just a bandaid at the back because the front had healed. I refused to look at it for about a 2 weeks. It was dark and weird-looking. As the doctor promised, it has lightened up and shaped pretty nicely. My right ear still doesn’t match my left ear, but I still have it. I can still hear. And listen. So it’s okay if people don’t think it’s pretty.

Tell Me I’m Pretty! (Day 11 of 30 Days of Truth)

Day 11 – Something people to seem to compliment you the most on

Compliments. Gotta love ’em! I have to say that I do get a lot of compliments, and it’s hard to say what most of them are for. Actually, now that I think about it, I think most of them relate to my physical appearance. They’re not about a specific feature, but people generally tell me that I’m pretty/beautiful. Don’t stop reading now. I’m not saying I’m a TKO. I’ll explain this further.

I live in The Bahamas. Men on the street holla (literally and figuratively) at women passing by a LOT. It’s almost instinctive. I always say, “Bahamian men make it impossible for Bahamian women to have a low self-esteem.” They will holla at ANY and EVERY woman they come across in the street, in the grocery store, at the mall, in the club… ANYwhere, really. What they say varies slightly.

OY! OY! LUV.LAY!

BYOO-DA-FULL! BYOO-DA-FULL!

Hey, solid! You wan’ my wallet?

SEXY! Wan’ a Pepsi?

Hey, Miss! Miss! You know you look good right?

Come here, girl, lemme hol’ you!

I often wonder if they find this method effective. Do they ever bother to approach a woman one-on-one, without yelling, and using phrases like, “Hello, you look very nice today. May I help you with your bags?” Now, this is The Bahamas… Not many women will allow a strange man to carry their bags. I’m just saying, it’s another way to go about things. I’d be more responsive to a man who speaks to me as though we are the only people in the moment at the moment, even if I refuse his offers. Instead, they yell at women in groups.

Picture this: You arrive at the grocery store. You park your car, and get out. You take about 4 steps before you notice 3 men leaning against a wall together. You only notice them because of the noise they’re making in attempting to engage you (if we can call it that). One man says, “OY! SEXY!” You ignore him and continue walking as you hear the second man say, “Dammmn, girl, you look good, eh?!” The third man says, “Mmmp, mmmp, mmmp! She fiiiiine, eh?” The first man says, “I can’t take you out, eh?” By this time, you’ve open the door and are entering the grocery store, but they continue and you head combinations of, “Hey, Miss?! I can’t take you out?!” and “You look good, hear?”

Now imagine that every time you’re in public, you experience something like that. Men on walls, in passing cars, in parked cars, in buildings you enter… Everywhere. All the time. When you go to lunch, when you cross the street to get to your car, when you go to the gas station… Got it? Congratulations. You are now, in your imagination, a woman in The Bahamas. Whether you are short, tall, light-skinned, dark-skinned, long-haired, short-haired, very thin, grossly overweight, healthy-looking… It doesn’t matter. You. Are. Getting. Attention. You. Are. Getting. Compliments. Sometimes they are weird. E.g. “You’n have no breast, but look at that assssssss! Mmmp! You look GOOD!”

Short hair, don't care!

More personally, among people I know, and people who actually have the decency to speak directly to me, face-to-face (not yelling at my back), I’m getting a lot of compliments on my new haircut. People seem to like it. A lot. Some people even go as far as saying that my beauty shows more with short hair, or note (aloud) that everyone can’t rock a short cut like mine/I do. It’s nice to hear. Especially since I don’t plan to let it get long again. At all. Ever.

 

Other things I’m complimented on fairly often include my smile, my teeth, and my eyes. I’m rarely complimented on anything other than those physical features. Oh! Since I’ve been riding my bicycle to work, random people on the street have “given me props.” People have stopped (in their cars) to say things like, “Good for you!” and “You’re smarter than the rest of us! Keep it up!” Now THAT. Is pretty cool. (To really get how cool it is, you’d have to understand how caught up most Bahamians are on status and how-would-it-look-ifs.) I think that has to be my favourite compliment, if it could be considered a compliment. For people in passing cars to feel strongly enough to stop and let me know that they think what I’m doing is awesome, and they wish they could do it (which they really can) is a great thing. Maybe the country can start changing. Maybe focus can be shifted, and energy put in the right place. Saving money and gas, putting egos aside, and putting more emphasis on physical health, the environment, and financial security. Maybe.