A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Posts tagged ‘comfort’

Five Question Friday

It’s Friiiii-daaayyy, Friiiii-daaayyy! Gotta get down on Friiiii-daaayyy! Five Question Friday, y’all. Here we go.
 
1. What is the weather like where you are and do you like it?
It’s kind of cool-ish. 73(F), and should be 64(F) tonight. I DO like it, actually. This is perfect weather, to me. I can comfortably wear jeans and a top, and a sweater. Even a scarf in the evening, if I really want to. I like warm clothing. It’s nice to wear shorts and tank tops, but that gets old. It’s easier to like nice when you wear long pants and stuff. And I sleep way better in cooler weather. No matter what the temperature is, I HAVE to be covered up to sleep. This means that heat is brutal at night. It’s just not very nice beach weather, and I really like the beach… Can’t have it all though. Oh! And I just remember something else. I LOVE soup. I feel like making soup. Making and eating soup is ridiculous in the heat. When there’s some chill to the air, though? Perfect.
2. When you’re sick what do you seek comfort from?
I ball myself. On the bed, in the couch, under Babe… Wherever. If I’m by myself, I rock while I’m balled up. The only way I won’t rock is if someone is there to comfort me with their warmth and hugginess. Blankets. Soup. TEA. Tea is a big one for me. Love tea.
3. What do you need to do before the end of the month?
I need to complete the no-longer-than-two-pages description I need to write for the program I want to run. To get a grant of $5,000-10,000. Basically, the US Embassy is giving one-time grants to organizations/community leaders/individuals for HIV/AIDS prevention/education promotion. I have some pretty great ideas, but it will be pretty hard to get support from organizations, community leaders, media, etc. The Bahamas Christian Council has a lot of influence, and seems to scare everyone else into corners. The church and government are not separate here. Not even in theory, honestly. I’m rather unorthodox in my thinking and beliefs. For example, I think the abstainence message is outdated, unrealistic, and ineffective. To go even further, I think that it hurts a lot more than it helps. It just means that young people are ill-equipped, dishonest, and afraid. They do what they want to do behind the backs of all in authority, hurting themselves in the process by not protecting themselves. All because they don’t have what they need. The complete knowledge and understanding of the epidemic, condoms, support. Ok, got a little off track there. I also need to write a short story before the end of the month. I have a million competitions that I’d like to enter.
4. Have you ever served on a jury?
No. I just registered to vote for the first time, and I think the registry of voters is what they use to draft the jury lists. If I got called, I’d answer the questions as best I can to avoid being chosen. I’d probably be a good juror because I’m so non-partisan and by-the-book, but it’s a huge waste of time. Court cases go on for far too long. And the other jurors would probably make me want to kill them. Lol.
5. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
Animal? Oh, dear. I really don’t like animals. At all. If I had to BE one… Gaaah! What would I choose? I have no idea. Ummm… I’d be a dolphin. They’re so cool. Mammals of the sea. And they do those cool jumps. Yeah. I’d be a dolphin.
 
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Expect the Unexpected (via Maggie Mae’s Days)

LOVE this. Had to share it.

Expect the Unexpected I know I've heard many a person say, "You never know what to expect".  Time and time again I've heard those words or uttered them myself in relation to various situations, circumstances and events. This has always held true in my personal experiences in life so far… Just when you think you know, you find out in reality you really have no idea… But you see, life always has a way of changing on ya… the path in the road winding in a different … Read More

via Maggie Mae's Days

Grief and Memories

It’s horrible when someone close to you dies. It’s just as terrible when the loved one of your loved one dies. To see the person in so much pain. To not really be able to do anything. To know that whatever you say will be pretty cliché. That you really can’t do anything different from the average person in that person’s life. Even though you’re their person. Their one person. It’s a helpless feeling. You can’t compare it to what they are feeling, but you feel like you’re grieving with them. It’s odd. And uncomfortable. And you keep wondering what you should do or say. How you could make them feel better, somehow. You want to fix everything. Make them smile. You them to know that the memories will last forever, and the time will come when they will be able to look back and smile and/or laugh. Memories won’t always bring tears.

You want to say so much, but can’t. You know that they’re being over-talked. You know that people are saying things to them all the time. Sending them messages all the time. The same things you would say. So you’re lost. You feel like what you do and say should be special. But WHAT?! There’s really nothing. All you can do is be there. Be present. Love them. Hold them. Wipe their tears. Listen to them when they want to talk. Talk to them when they want distraction. Hold their hand through it all. It’s so easy, but so hard, because you’re over-thinking it. All anyone really wants during a time of grief is room to grieve, however they choose to do it. Comfort when they need it. And knowing that someone is always there. And memories are always there. Always.

 

I find that funerals are good for closure. It’s hard to plan. It’s hard to get ready for. It’s hard to attend. But the funeral is where people say their final goodbyes, and really come to terms with it.  There have only been a few deaths in my family. My grand-uncle (a stand-in father for me, and adopted father of my dad), my uncle (aunt’s husband), my grandfather, and my grandaunt. With all of them, I cried when I found out what happened. I cried for me, I cried for the future without them, I cried for the people close to them. I didn’t go on crying for days. I did have little moments. But most of the time, I was fine. It was at their funerals that I really, really cried. The grief and sorrow welled up and overflowed. Every sad face, every mention of their names, every fond story shared, every cry I heard around me, every hymn the church sang. They were drips into an already-full well, waiting to be emptied. I often wonder why people choose sad songs for funerals. The typical funeral songs that make people cry. Now, after a few funerals, I realize that we need to cry, a lot of times. A lot of people hold back for a long time for various reasons. Trying to be strong for others, busy with making arrangements, feeling to old to cry, feeling to manly to cry… Funeral hymns break all of that down. And people can release their loved ones into the universe. People can realize that they are out of the world, but not out of our hearts.

At my grandfather’s funeral, my dad asked the priest to sing How Great Thou Art, because it was one of my grandfather’s favourites. It’s not a typical funeral hymn, but I cried. That was when I really cried. We all did. To this day, when I hear that song, my eyes well up.

103 Rules To Living Simply (Reblogged)

1. If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it. Most real food is easy to pronounce – like peas, apples, nuts, berries, and beans. Avoid doozies like these- Monosodium glutamate, Butylated hydroxytoluene, and tert-Butylhydroquinone
2. Be frugal and stay out of debt. Debt hangs over your head like a nasty storm cloud. It keeps you from complete autonomy and makes you into a modern-day slave.
3. You’re a biped, walk everywhere. There’s no better way to enjoy the earth than by walking all over it. [I love this one.]
4. When in doubt, throw it out. If you haven’t used it in 6 months, you probably don’t need it. [I need to really do this. I really do.]
5. Check your email once a day, at most. Compulsive email checking is an epidemic. Quit cold turkey. [Tough ish. We somehow feel the need to be sooo CONNECTED. ALL the freaking time. It’s crazy. And we should do this.]
6. Wear it twice (or thrice). Apparently, this rule doesn’t apply to underwear. [Oh, boy. Gets a little weird here for me…]
7. Wash your dishes mindfully. Chores don’t have to be so bad. Put a smile on and enjoy the rhythms of the job.
8. Appreciate art in many forms. Not just paintings and music. But teacher’s lessons, and blogs posts, and crisp, fall mornings. [Yesss!]
9. Treat everything as an end in itself. Do something because you enjoy it, or because it’s important to you. [BEST reason to do ANYthing. Any other reason SUCKS. Really.]
10. Turn of your cellphone. A ringing cell-phone is not conducive to intimate conversation or a dreamy first date. Be present. [I firmly believe that we need to detach our cellphones from ourselves. We can’t truly have quality time with friends or family with ringing phones, or vibrating phones, or even phones with flashing lights. Phones that have capabilities that were unimaginable in 1920 that we think of every time we catch a glimpse of them, and suddenly have the NEED to pick them up and PROVE their capabilities through USE. Much to the detriment of whatever we were doing before. With real people. In our physical space.]
11. Sit still, enjoy it. We’re not used to stopping, even for a short time. Let go of everything else and just be. [I’ve had the chance to do this a bit more lately. I have to admit that it’s not as terrible as most people probably think. I may have even found it slightly enjoyable.]
12. Take a few deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Feel the oxygen rush through your capillaries. [This seems simple, but DO it. Feel it. Report back to me.]
13. Use a distraction free text editor. The human brain is unmatched in its ability to be distracted. Stack the odds in your favor – use darkroom.
14. Unless it’s urgent, cancel the meeting. Meetings are 95% a waste of time. Send a memo instead and ask for a brief response in writing. [Email. Magical. Timesaver when used correctly.]
15. Bury yourself in a good novel. Stories bring meaning to the world we live in, and yet make it seem like one big dream. [*sighs* One of my favourite things to do.]
16. Be authentically yourself. You’re you for a reason. Don’t put on a mask, hide your emotions, or put on a show. Just be you. [!!!!!]
17. Speak in plain, soft words. Everyone is slowly raising their voice to be heard in the crowd. Soon, the whole world will be shouting. [I laughed a little. Then I realized how true this really is.]
18. Wink at the cashier. They’re human too. And yet so often we swipe our plastic and walk straight out of their lives.
19. Use one towel the entire week. If you’re doing a good job in there, that towel should stay clean for eternity, right? Less is more my friend. [People don’t do this? Oh.]
20. Quit multi-tasking. Sometimes it’s OK, but most of the time, it’s just keeping you from doing one thing really, really well. [I don’t even believe that multitasking is real. It’s a cop-out. A way to get out of putting all focus and energy into one task. The brain only works on one thing at a time.]
21. Keep a small inner circle of trusted friends. Social media makes us think we can be friends with everyone. You can’t, unless everyone gets a really small piece of you. [PREEEACH!]
22. Mow the lawn in the slowest gear. Weird: we like the sun, we like the smell of grass, and yet we mow the lawn like speed demons.

23. Buy a reversible belt. 2 for the price of 1. Enough said.

24. Skip the gym membership, play with your kids. I hear kids are expensive, why not tap into their boundless energy and put them to good use. [ANOTHER reason to have children. WOO! *adds to list*]

25. Listen intently, ask questions. It’s a dying art, but listening is your passport to a wealth of wisdom, not to mention some pretty cool friends.

26. Buy a quality pair of jeans and wear them out. You’ll get a sense of completion. Satisfying, in a strange zen-like way. [I do this all the time. I’ve only “worn out” two pairs. They make these jeans to last a lifetime, I guess. I could have 20 pairs of jeans, and I’d still wear my favourite 3 all the time.]

27. Pay in cold, hard cash. Plastic cards make money seem unreal. Maybe it is? Maybe this is all a big game we’re playing with ourselves.

28. Find a job you love. Time is a precious resource but your boss might not think so. Find a job you won’t dread on Monday mornings, or else,make one. [UGH. I’m sooo working on this.]
29. Set fewer goals, let action follow passion. Goals cause you to envy a future you that doesn’t exist. Do what excites you, and the results will surely come. [Now this… This is something to think about.]
30. Disconnect from the internet and do something that you’ll probably fail at. We’re safe in our little digital worlds. You can be who you want to be. Every now and then you have to fail at something, just to experience that razor edge.
31. Feel the breeze and taste the salty air. Life is a smorgasbord of sounds, smells, tastes, and sights. Eat your heart out, kid. [I love doing this. Haven’t done it in a while. Need to get back to that place.]
32. Go for a run, try to get lost. Don’t set a destination, just go. Turn left, then right, then right again. Repeat until desired result has been achieved.
33. Keep your pockets light. We’re bogged down with so much stuff. Don’t let the madness spill into your pockets.
34. Don’t wish away your today’s for tomorrow’s. It doesn’t hit most people until it’s too late, but life is a blessed gift. Just enjoy it my friend. [This kinda goes back to #29, no?]
35. Avoid advertising like the plague. Like a bad horror flick, they’re in our heads. The future of the human race hinges on our resistance.
36. Is anyone reading this? I like you, a lot.
37. Omit the unnecessary. Pare down your commitments, possessions, words, vices, addictions, and distractions.
38. Focus on the essential. Make room for health, faith, fun, giving, laughing, loving, reading, and chasing your dreams.
39. Automate your income. So much of our time is wasted doing stuff just to make a buck. There are remedies available, inquire within.
40. Throw your TV out the second-story window. Never look back.
41. Take a break from thinking. There’s a steady stream of thoughts that run through our minds all day, every day. If you don’t control it, it will certainly control you.
42. Empty yourself. Experience the lightness of letting go. [This definitely needs to be done on a regular basis.]
43. Pray like you mean it, and then listen. We are more than flesh and bones. Faith gives meaning to the world around us.
44. Give until it hurts, and then, just a little more. Your happiness is so intricately tied to the happiness of others, that it doesn’t make sense to live any other way.
45. Declutter your freakin’ closet. Donate anything you haven’t worn in a year and give your closet some breathing room.
46. And keep your desk clear, minus a picture frame. It’s hard to focus amidst piles of clutter and chaos. Keep flat surfaces clear except for a few accent pieces.
47. Write concisely. Brevity is the key to making a point.
48. No more than 5 words on a Power Point slide. Ever. Boring Power Points are the bane of my existence. Speak with stories and put pictures on your slide that stick in my brain.
49. Keep your speeches pithy, humorous, and to the point. The key to being heard in this noisy world is to pack a powerful punch. Plus, people like to laugh.
50. Respect other people’s time. In the modern world, time is quickly becoming our most precious resource.
51. Do what you love and then get paid for it. If you had the choice, wouldn’t you. You do, now go. [But hooowww?!]
52. Health can’t be measured on a scale, don’t bother. I’d like to know what a scale can tell you that a 5k road race and a mirror couldn’t? You’re either healthy, or you’re not. [Agreed. Scale are stupid.]
53. Stop complaining, enjoy the scenery. Birds, mountains, corn fields, lakes, people – there’s no reason to be bored.
54. Try yoga to calm your soul (and get a sexy six-pack). Yoga is for everyone. It’s a slow way to unwind from a day in the rat-race.
55. Figure out why we’re here. Ask the difficult questions and go wherever they lead you.
56. If you’re standing in line, make a friend. This should go without saying, but then again, we have a nasty habit of getting stuck in our own little worlds.
57. Cut your possessions in half, and then half again. Boom! Welcome to the minimalist lifestyle. Now, go do something that matters.
58. Make your own gifts, and don’t be afraid to mess up. Sometimes its the imperfections that add character. Guy’s note this: girls will think it’s cute anyway. [BEST kind if gift. I love a little personal touch.]
59. To make money, add value to someone’s life. It’s that simple.#1 money making rule: I will pay you to make my life better or easier or more exciting. #2 money making rule: Be Indispensable
60. Limit all emails to 5 sentences or less. Attention is a limited resource, treat it like gold.
61. Linger at the dinner table. There’s something about sharing a meal together that makes you family. Make this time sacred.
62. Become a great story teller. Stories speak to us, and make us think, and inspire us, and break our hearts.
63. Change just one habit at a time. Never underestimate the power of small, incremental change over the long haul.
64. Cut loose your extra baggage. We come into the world with nothing and leave with nothing. And yet, we insist on caring a bunch of stuff with us while we’re here.
65. Travel lightly. Minimal luggage means maximum adventure. [Huuuge challenge for me. I’m working on it. Slowly.]
66. Avoid the touristy areas. Seek out the local people, eat their food, and sleep in their homes.
67. Explore: people and places. We’re not static creatures, our design is based on change, and growth, and awakening. Find people who inspire you to dig deeper.
68. Don’t eat anything that’s symmetrical. Nothing in nature is perfectly round or square – you can’t say the same thing about Oreo’s, Ritz Crackers, and Milky Ways. [Dude. No. I gotta eat some junk.]
69. Check the library first. Libraries are the future of the planet. Not just for books, but for tools, tables, TVs, cars, houses, and a host of other things you can’t imagine, just yet.
70. Walk barefoot in the grass. Now, run and play and skin your knees on something. [I have a thing. About barefeet. Shower, pool, beach, and trampoline only.]
71. Downsize your home – better yet – rent an apartment. It costs a lot of money to heat and maintain extra square footage. Simplify. [WOW. I don’t plan to pay rent forever. No, sir. How about a house of a suitable size?]
72. Chew it 20 times before you swallow. And put your fork down between bites. This is how to make room for actual conversations in your life. [I have to consciously think about it to put my fork down. I get SO into eating. LOL.]
73. Play, laugh, giggle, skip, roll, and be merry. In a word: childlike. [*giggles*]
74. Stop consuming, create something. Consuming is passive and leaves you emptier. Creating awakens you from the inside out.
75. Sit by the fire and by mystified. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Any time you can engage all 5 senses – you’re doing something right.
76. Let go of expectations. The only thing in the way of your happiness is your perception of how things should turn out. [THIS!]
77. And free yourself from the expectations of others. You’re real friends won’t mind, the rest have a thing or two to learn. [AND THIS!]
78. Don’t you dare forward that chain email. Oh, don’t you even dare. [!!!!!]
79. Live with less than 100 possessions. Just a number, but its becomethe holy grail of minimalist freedom. [Hmmm. Ok. Probably not, but ok. Lol.]
80. Be shamelessly unproductive. Chase someone with a hose, wrestle your friends, make a prank call. Make someone smile.
81. Use lists, they’re easy and fun to read. We could all use a splash of fun in our day, right?
82. Simplify your morning routine. Set the mood for your day: drink a glass of water, sit quietly and pray (or think), stretch and be on your way.
83. Quit reading the newspaper. Bad things happen, stocks go up and down, politicians want your soul. There, I caught you up for the next 6 months.
84. Avoid twitter when you’re tired and vulnerable. Twitter sucks you in and karate chops you across the back. It’s a real time waster, too.
85. Buy quality, well-built products. Mother earth will thank you a thousand times over.
86. Support your local community. Spend your money at mom and pop stores where they still care to know your name.
87. Find joy in little things, like kittens and rain drops. Big picture people tend to be happy when things are going well. Small picture people have a billion reasons to be happy, everyday.
88. Work smarter, not harder. Productivity isn’t everything. In fact, if you’re enjoying yourself, it doesn’t matter. But if you’re not – find a smarter way of working.
89. Be a nomad for one year (or at least a month). We get so attached to physical things. What if we moved with a few people we love and the clothes on our back? What if we became nomads for good?
90. Shop on Black Friday, avoid the other days. Awful congestion, but wicked good sales. I hate shopping, but really, this is the day to do it. [Hell no.]
91. Go with the flow, bro. Just when you think you’ve figured it out, something will change. Life is best enjoyed in the moment. [Super tough for me. I’ve come a long way, and still have a bit more to go.]
92. Enjoy without owning. A change occurs when you call something yours. It loses a certain value and a connection with the larger world.
93. Stop being spineless, learn to say no. It’s not being rude, you can’t be everything for everyone. Choose wisely. [Important! Life changing! Stop feeling OBLIGATED.]
94. Limit non face-to-face communication. Humans have 5 senses for a reason, a good conversation engages all of them. [Nicely put!]
95. Purge your inbox like it’s your job. When work piles up, even if it’s out of sight, you will carry that burden with you anywhere you go.
96. Edit your life ruthlessly. Experiment with your approach, ask questions, and cut out the stuff that isn’t working. [Work in progress. Always.]
97. Spend time alone, without distractions. So few people really know themselves, it take away from their ability to know others.
98. Drive under the speed limit, Speedy Gonzalez. Speed limit – it’s interesting to me that we’ve come to understand that number to be the minimum miles per hour we should be driving.
99. Create a simple weekly dinner menu. Make it healthy and keep it simple. This will make grocery shopping 100x easier.
100. Let go of fake needs. Years of exposure has us convinced that we need to buy something to meet a need. That’s not part of our design. Everything you need to be happy can be grown, introduced, or found. [Hmmm…]
101. Leave white space in your day. There should be space between the events in your day to leave room for taking it all in.
102. Have the audacity to be content. It takes courage to be content with who you are and where you’re at right now. Millions of advertisements will try to talk you out of it, stay strong my friend. [CONTENTMENT. A state of being that I truly appreciate.]
103. Be faithful to one spouse. Love their guts out. In fact, go give them a hug right now. Not just today, do this every day for the rest of your life. [This makes me smile.]

 

Source: Art of Minimalism

Another article of interest: 20 Reasons to Become a Minimalist

 

What do you think of the list? Does anything stand out to you? Is there anything you’d add to it?

Go Braless!

Day 16 – Someone or Something you definitely could live without

Bras. I really don’t understand why they are such a big deal in society. For a woman to walk around in public without a bra on… Can you imagine? It’s as though breasts are dirty, and need to be tucked away. Now, for the better endowed women, I understand the need/desire to wear a bra. It probably reduces sweat, make them feel less heavy, etc. For me, a little ol’ B-cup, bras make no sense. I often joke that I could just wear two band-aids (to keep the headlights in check) or scotch tape and be good to go. When picking out tank tops, I always go for the ones with the shelf-bra. That’s one less piece of clothing I need. Really though, how did we get here? I did a little research, and my findings are interesting. I’ll share them as succinctly as I can without losing meaning, and provide some links for further reading.

Brief History

  • 1500s – Corsets became popular (for lifting breasts)
  • 1900s – Bras introduced (to provide  more comfort than corsets)

More Bra History

Why Women Wear Bras

  • SupportPssh! I don’t need support for these lil babies.
  • Morality & Decency. I have to comment that this is just ridiculous. It is a valid concern, but at the root, it’s ludicrous. Some women wear bras to SEX IT UP while other wear them for the opposite reason. Insane! Yes, I know there are various types for various purposes… Still, it’s crazy.
  • Unspoken Rule of Society. I believe this is directly linked to Morality & Decency point.)
  • Anti-sagging. (Yes, a bra will left them for as long as you wear it. There seems to be some evidence, however, of bras causing sagging. Imagine that!
  • Comfort (Reduces sweat and slapping.) THIS, I understand.
  • Illusion. I admit that I have worn bras to make my breasts look larger on a few occasions. Kind of like applying white eyeliner to make my eyes look bigger. No? Not the same thing. Oh.
  • Exercise. During a presentation on Shark Tank, a woman said something like, “When a woman exercises, the only things that should be bouncing are balls.” I’m with her on that one.
  • Breastfeeding. Make sense. Leaking is real.

Bras have even been found to be a contributor to breast cancer!

Bra Alternatives

  • Camisoles
  • Tops with shelf bras. Nowhere near as ridiculous as a regular bra as it’s just an extra layer underneath the top with elastic under the bust area to keep it in place. These are my absolute favourites.
  • Adhesive cups. Theeese are pretty cool!
  • Disposable stickers. Some of them even give a little lift action!
  • Loose-fitting tops.
  • Leotards.
  • Men’s Undershirts.
  • Vests.
  • ZeeBraz Still a bra, but looks pretty cool and less restrictive.
  • Breast Rest This looks interesting… It’s sort of a support system that goes around the breasts, so they’re still out in the open and able to breathe. Worth a look.

I’m glad this question prompted me to look into the whole bra thing. Bras are a form of oppression for a lot of women. If you’d rather not wear them, don’t. Find the alternative(s) that work(s) best for you. I’m already thinking about the changes I can make, the purchases I should make, and the confidence I will definitely find within myself to be more comfortable.

Also, funny that I’m wearing these socks today:

Strength. Courage. Hope.

Want to read a bit more?

The Purpose of the Bra

Bra-Free Experiences

Going Braless Forum

More Detailed Info On My Points