A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Posts tagged ‘Bible’

Funny Letter to a Bible-Thumper

If you’re an easily offended Christian, you may not want to read this. You still can. And should. And you could even comment if you like. 

I find this hilarious every time I come across it and read it. Decided to share it today.

Ever get tired of people throwing Bible verses at you, and using religion as an excuse for condemning homosexuality? Well, this is something I came across many years ago, and I still laugh every time I read it.

On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

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Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

Source: http://www.ghanaweb.com/GhanaHomePage/NewsArchive/artikel.php?ID=217897

On a serious note, can we not agree that The Bible is… Well… Ancient? The Old Testament is nice for history, but I don’t know about its usefulness and relevance in the world today. I mean, even in Bible times they realized that there was a need for the updated version of God’s Word. Judge now, a zillion years later. Okay, so it hasn’t been that long. But still. I think God should speak to some holy men so they could write us a Newer Testament. No? I think I’ll talk Him about this directly.

 

 

Walk In Love

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

What a question! Let’s start with a definition, just to make sure we’re on the same page.

re·li·gion

[ri-lij-uhn]

noun

1.

a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2.

a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3.

the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4.

the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.
5.

the practice of religious  beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
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Ok, there we go.
I really don’t know enough about enough religions to speak on this very conclusively. I grew up in a “Christian home” and went to a “Christian school” and attended church. Christianity is the religion that I know the most about. My standpoint on the religion has changed over the years. As I address this question, keep in mind that I am largely speaking from a Christian background, and do not intend to insult/debunk/disrespect any particular religion.
  • Religion is a form of separation. It’s another one of those things that forms little groups, breaking down humanity. It’s something else to set us apart from one another. It wasn’t enough to have male and female, various races, different nationalities. There’s another thing to divide us. A cause of conflict, war, intense disagreements that often lead to radical action. Difference in belief of how the world began, who God is, how He/She should be worshipped, how He/She wants us to live, etc. Religion. A divider.
  • Man-made. People, a zillion years ago, came up with the stuff that so many people insist on basing their lives on. PEOPLE made this stuff. PEOPLE wrote the books that, people now believe, tell us how to live our lives today. PEOPLE. Not God. Show me a book that God wrote. I’m not talking about God-breathed or God-inspired. I’m talking about a book that God zapped onto the planet. A book that Jesus (or whatever God walked the earth) sat down and wrote to give us direction. Please show me that book.
  • Religion seems to run nations. Countries tend to base their laws on the dominant religion.
  • Religion is the standard people use to judge others by.
  • Families and communities are often torn apart by (differences in) religion.
  • There are too many different religions.
  • There is no way to be certain that any religion is “the right one.”
  • Religion would definitely be better if there was just ONE, and it brought people together. Too many options, in this case, tears the world apart. That can’t be what God wants, can it?
  • Pretty much every religion probably has some principle or underlying reasoning/doctrine that would be great and beneficial for everyone to live by. It’s just the practices and specific requirements (like having to worship on Saturday, or having to cover every part of the body except for the eyes) that get crazy and make things so messy and disagreeable.
  • Religion would have us believe that believing and striving to do the right thing is not enough. Our daily lives are dictated in the littlest and the biggest of ways. What we eat, what we drink, how we dress, the hours we work, the ways we decorate our bodies, our relationships and interactions…
  • Religion nullifies and voids every bit of free will. It can’t be “free will” if only one choice will allow us to live without condemnation and fear of burning in a lake of fire for all of eternity. That’s coercion. Blackmail, even!
  • Religion pretty much fails to do everything it claims it is good for, and manages to do everything that it probably shouldn’t.
  • Religion is a form of control. Control of the mind, control of the body…
  • To be a part of a religion is to give up oneself. One’s freedom. One’s will. Everything is predetermined. It’s like being a machine. Imagine being of any religious persuasion. Imagine that you follow all of the rules. ALL of them. You are good enough to be a priest/preacher/teacher of the faith. Is that really living? Is there any of YOU in there?
  • All religion should be abolished. Done away with. We need to get back to the basics. Back to the principles that many of the existing religions were built upon. Love, respect, honour, forgiveness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, truthfulness…
  • I believe that a few verses from The Bible are the perfect description of the way that we should live our lives with and among one another. I am quoting from The Bible not because I believe it to be superior or of higher value, but because it is the religious book with which I am most familiar. I’m happy to share some of the verses I find meaningful in the following points:
  • I Corinthians 13. The entire chapter. Some of it seems a bit mumbo-jumbo-ish, but if you read it from a place of openness and honesty (with yourself), you will see what I see every time I read it. I know it, now, by heart. Every time I think of love – what love truly is – this is what automatically comes to mind. Not from a religious standpoint. Not as a born-and-raised Christian. As a person with a true understanding of love. True, unrelenting, for-no-real-reason, without-fail, undying love. This scripture is the reason that I say my religion is LOVE. And my mantra is WALK IN LOVE. If we all lived this way, and loved this way, can you imagine there ever being war? Debilitating sadness? Anger? This is the way to live. Without envy. Without pride. Without keeping score. Just patience, and kindness.
  • Matthew 22:36-40. Love God first. Easy enough. Whatever/Whoever God is to you. Love THAT. And then, almost to prove your love to God, love your NEIGHBOUR. But don’t just love your neighbour like blaaaah. LOVE your neighbour. Like you LOVE YOURSELF. What a concept! Love the people around you. The people you come in contact with. Love them with the same love that you love YOURSELF with. HOLY, everything! Imagine living in THAT world. Where that’s the religion. IMAGINE IT!
  • Romans 3:23. So simple, yet so profound. No one is greater than another. ALL have fallen short. This is so well coupled with Matthew 7:1-5. Do not judge. Focus on yourself. Get your own life together.
  • Phillipians 4:8. I guess this is where the law of attraction stuff started. Think positively. Focus on the positive. Put your energy into the things you want. Think on the things that you WANT to happen. Not the things you hope do NOT happen. This reminds me of the Buddhist quote: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
  • The Beatitudes (Matthew 5). It’s cause and effect. Be good, and you will attract goodness.
  • The Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). All of the things that would make up the perfect religion way of living.
We need a “religion,” as people. We need something or someone to tell us how to live. We need a measuring stick. We need instructions. By nature. We need to know what is right and what is wrong. We need a separation. We need a way to know who our friends are, and who our enemies are. We need to make distinctions. We need to make clear the differences. We are not content with the fact that we are all the same. We are people. Cut from the same cloth. Yes, we all look different. We are of different complexions, have different hair colours, different shoe sizes… We favour different colours. We cook different foods. We like different movies. But at the core, are we that different? We all need food and water to survive. We are linked by our needs. We need the same things. We long for the same things. The ways we go about getting them may differ. The ways that we live may differ. What we believe may differ. Is that so wrong? To have differences? Especially when we are so very THE SAME. Strange, isn’t it?
It’s past the time that we should have shed these silly hatreds and superiority/inferiority complexes. It’s past the time that we should have been finding a way to live amicably. We all inhabit ONE earth. That’s all we have. The land that we live on. The way we treat it, and the way we treat one another is what tends to define us as people. If we want to be GOOD, then we need to BE good. EXUDE GOODNESS. Know love. Live love. WALK. IN. LOVE. I believe that love is paramount. I practice love daily. (Look at definition #2.) That’s my religion. What’s yours?
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true. – Buddha