- Wear a tank top, shorts, and flip-flops, no matter where you have to go. People may frown at you and refuse to register you to vote in the next general election. They may encourage you to find “a shirt that covers the skin,” because, clearly, it is inappropriate to have exposed shoulders in the photo on your voter’s card. This is a risk you will have to run and a right you will have to give up should you choose this method to stay cool. You have been warned. In the same paragraph that you’ve been given a suggestion. It works out this way sometimes. Sorreh!
- Go for a car ride with all of the windows down. Fast. Stick to the long roads less travelled. Feel the winnnnnd whip through your hair. Or feel it directly on your scalp if you’re a (near) baldy like I am.
- When traffic forces you to slow down, reducing the amount of breeze you are able to make, stop in a little store or gas station to purchase frozen fruit bars and collld cans of carbonated beverages. Water is too lame. Enjoy these treats until you can VROOM, VROOM like you wanna. Don’t worry about making a mess. Those losers at the voter registration table won’t take your picture anyway.
- Go to the beeeach! Take off your flip-flops and stick your feet in the ocean. Aaahhh! See how far out you can walk without getting your shorts wet. Or get them wet. Whatever. It’s a super hot day! Once you feel sufficiently cooled, you can sit on a rock (or some sand) and just see, smell, feel, and be. See the ocean turn into sky. Smell the salt water. Feel the ocean breeze. Just be. In the moment. Until the blazing heat returns.
- Go to the grocery store. There’s a/c in grocery stores. Chill out in the dairy section. It’s usually pretty cool there.
These methods have all been tested and proven to work. By me. And I am a very reliable source and judge of such things. Mannn, it was a SUPER HOT DAY in The Bahamas yesterday. I didn’t know if I was gonna make it. But I did. YAY! And spent very little money. Babe and I managed to stay cool without spending more than $8 total. Well, that’s if you don’t count a few purchases at the grocery store. We needed water, and I picked up a box of cereal (Honey Bunches of Oats) on SPECIAL ($4.19) and 1/2 gallon of milk. We had fun. We had temporary disappointment when we weren’t able to register to vote, but then we remembered that we’re planning to move anyway, so we don’t care thaaat much. The old register closes July 14, 2011. Meh! I DO believe in having a voice, and the whole NO VOTE, NO VOICE thing, but… I wanna move. Lol.
– Have you ever voted? How many times?
– How do you keep cool on a SUPER HOT DAY? How much money do you spend doing it?