A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Posts tagged ‘30-days-of-truth’

Pregnant?! Not me!

Day 28 – If you were pregnant, or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

This is pretty cut and dry for me. I’d start prenatal care right away. I would pay more attention to my diet. I would start crunching numbers. It would be difficult to support myself and a child at this staff. It would actually be challenging enough to support myself as a pregnant woman, going to doctor’s appointments, having scans and tests done, and paying for the actual delivery.

I’m sure I would obsess about a few things. Do I want to have the child here, or in the states? Is it possible to have the child in Canada? Do I want a hospital birth? Would I prefer a midwife? Do I need to start eating more red meat? How will I afford anything? Who will help me with the big purchases? What kind of support system will I have?

My family is very by The Book. By that, I mean The Bible. Unmarried and having a baby? No bueno. Major problem. My cousin had a baby at 37, and that was a huge deal. I don’t particularly want to have controversy surrounding my pregnancy. I’d like to have a happy, healthy pregnancy.

Now is definitely not the time for me to have babies. I want children very much, but only under the right circumstances. I need to have a comfortable home, and the ability to financially support them. Babe and I should also have the knot tied (so to speak) before we start popping out babies.

I should note that my views aren’t as stringent as those of family (obviously), and they are not likely to be pleased whenever I become pregnant. At the end of the day, they will accept it because they’ll suddenly recall some scriptures that suggest forgiveness and unconditional love. My great-grandmother would be pleased to have another great-great-grandchild (my unmarried younger cousin beat the rest of us to the deal, and it wasn’t impressive to anyone), and my grandmothers would enjoy being great-grandmothers (though I’ve been beat in both cases – hahaha). My parents and the whole grandparenting thing? Problem won’t be very exciting. Hahahaha. Oh, well. They’ll have to suck it up.

Yep. So now is not the time, but if (and I have no idea HOW) I became pregnant, I would deal with it. I’d figure it out, somehow.



Day 27 – What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Why is this so hard? Maybe because it’s kind of vague. I’ve had this tab open for hours. The best thing going for me definitely isn’t my decisiveness right now. Lol. I AM decisive though. Just saying.

The best thing going for me… Hmmm… Let’s go with something super generic (because my brain is lazy right now) and say PERSONALITY! WOO!

I should probably zero in on something a bit more specific. My feathers (I’m a peacock, P.S.) aren’t easily ruffled. I have a pretty quiet spirit, and usually appear to be very calm, controlled, and at peace. Particularly at work. I leave my home life at home. I don’t bring personal issues with me. I don’t take work home with me. The two are separate and apart. Things may happen at home that frustrate me, but when I get to work, I’m sort of a different person. It’s the same deal the other way around. I make a special effort not to beat anyone with the stick of another person. Everyone gets beaten with their own stick around here!

Blaaah. Nothing else to say on this one.

On another note, I had a small breakdown last night. I’ve recently been stuck taking the yucky stinky bus to and from work. ūüė¶ ūüė¶ ūüė¶ ūüė¶ ūüė¶ Yeah, that’s how sad it makes me. I thought I was coping well. Not really. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. My bicycle is still at the old place. Hopefully, we can move it tomorrow evening. THEN, I’ll have to figure out how to make it all the way to work in all the work/school traffic and avoid the highway.

Anyway, more on how much I hate the bus and why, and the route I’ll have to take later. In another post. On to my breakdown. Yesterday wasn’t too bad. I worked at this job I really dislike, but whatever. I walked downtown (25 minutes) to get the bus. For a change, it was actually there. It was full. It stayed full. It was gross. I got home, and Babe was there to greet me. I held my hands out and said, “Don’t touch me!” before the warm embrace could happen. I stripped and went in the shower. Except the water was cold. I said the-f-word. Yes, I did. SO unlike me. I usually cop out and say, “Eff,” or “Flick,” or something like that. Not yesterday evening. I said THE f-word. ENUNCIATED it. I mean, with power. Not loudly, but with power. You know when the “CK” has the extra something? It was like “Fah cryin’ out loud.” Without the “ryin’ out loud” part. Yeah. It was bad.

I flipped the heater switch and sat on the commode, bent forward so my head was between my legs, and did something. I don’t know. Maybe I cried a little? No. I think I mumbled to myself or something. Sighed a lot. Finally, I figured the water would be hot enough, so I went in the shower. I got in, and started to calm down. Eyes closed and everything. Then, it felt really hot. I opened my eyes and looked around. The bathroom door was closed. Babe closed the door! I was pissed. It seems ridiculous, I know, but I WAS. WHY close the door?! Yes, I hear you in there trying to lay down some tracks or demo songs or whatever, but why did you close the door?! Don’t you know it’s HOT in here?! Then I realized that the window wasn’t even open. I started to open it, but it was too hard for me to do because the window operator was kind of stuck between the blinds or something. This is all very melodramatic, I know. I cried. I quickly got clean, got out of the shower, opened the door, and went into the spare room. I took down the blow-up mattress and laid my towelled self onto it. I stayed there until Babe said it was time to eat. Since we needed walls and doors between us, and my crying and moaning probably wouldn’t have been good for the recording or whatever was going on. I did it for Babe. And for me. As a take-THAT in response to the closed door.

It’s weird. I know why the door was closed. I understood it. I still resented it. It was like a wall between us or something. When I needed closeness. But only AFTER a shower. I was annoyed that I wasn’t considered in the decision (yes, this is ridiculous) to close the door. The heat was not considered. THIS added to the fact that the water was not preheated for me, in anticipation of my need for a shower upon my arrival. And I rode the STINKING BUS. YUCK. And I haven’t cycled in over a week.

I know it’s all crazy. I was like a spoiled brat. It was awful. And it made me more upset/annoyed at myself/and cry more knowing that I was being ridiculous. And knowing that none of this was Babe’s fault. But poor Babe was sucked into it. I never talked about it. I didn’t say how I felt about the door (because I knew it was stupid – lol), and I didn’t say why I went into the other room. I just left it. No questions were asked. I wonder if it was noticed. Probably. I was horrible. Veryunspeaking, uninteresting, and unresponsive. I feel terrible about it. If we had gas, I would bake Babe a cake.

I’m not a crazy person. I’m really not. I just have these crazy moments every few months or something. Funny that this happened after yesterday’s post though, right?

Has one little thing ever set you off on some crazy emotional thingy? Ever known that you were being ridiculous WHILE you were being ridiculous? How do you get yourself to be rational when all you want to do is be irrational and find a reason to be annoyed with someone? (I’m dying laughing at the last question. I’m crazy. I lied.)

On Giving Up

Day 26 РHave you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? 

There have been times when I’ve felt very tired. Exhausted. Completely depleted of all will to continue in the struggle that life seemed to be. I’ve never allowed myself to get to the point where I truly threw in the towel. I’ve had times when I’ve decided to let go out of certain things. Certain people. I let some dreams fly in the wind. Some for a short time, some for a longer period of time, some for good. I’ve realized that everything won’t be rainbows, butterflies, and chicken wings all the time. There are highs and lows. There are great days and not so great days. If it weren’t for the tears, we wouldn’t know the value of the smiles and giggles.

What used to happen to me was a severe overload. Then, there would be a big breakdown. a build-up of everything I refused to share with anyone or deal with at all. I just internalized everything for months and months. Of course, I would come to the point where my cup overflowed. How did I get to that point? Well, like I said, I would pretend like everything was fine. I wouldn’t let anyone in. No one would ever know what was going on with me. I still tend to just get very quiet during more difficult times. It’s hard, even for people who know me well, to know when I’m feeling down because I’m so quiet in general. Mind you, I talk a LOT, but when I FEEL like it. It comes in waves. Hahaha.

These days, I allow myself to feel a little down. I give myself a few minutes to just mope. Be sad. Cry if I have to. Vent if I need to. Blog if I want to. After the allotted time is up, that’s it. No more moping. I move on. Either come up with a solution to the problem, or realize that it must not break me. Then I play a happy song and/or dance, or go for a bike ride, or have a nice, long, hot shower, or eat ice cream, or a combination of things. Sometimes, before that happens, I play a song to help me feel whatever I’m feeling (or trying not to feel). Most times, I end up playing Sade’s King of Sorrow.

A nice gospel song for the down times is this one.

And then this song makes me feel better.

While we’re on this, here’s a new song from Kirk Franklin.

I just don’t understand the pink lipstick. I mean, wear lipstick if you want, Kirk. Whatever. I just think you should try to pick a better colour/shade for your skin tone. That bubblegum pink is just… Wrong.


  • It’s okay to feel down sometimes. It happens.
  • It’s not okay to internalize everything. Yes, some things are private. There are some things we’d rather not share with the world, or people outside of the situation. It’s just important that we express the way that we feel in a harmless way. Talking to someone, writing, painting, physical activity, etc.
  • Music is good. It can make you feel all kinds of ways. It can help you cry. It can make you smile. It can help you to heal.
  • Never allow yourself to wallow in sorrows for a longer time than you’d allow your mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, husband, wife, girlfriend, or brother to wallow in sorrows.
  • Allow yourself to FEEL. It’s in the nature of human beings, and it is okay.
  • Know yourself. Completely. Be able to make a distinction between a rough day, a rough little while, and depression. Know when you need to reach out to someone for help.

Naturally 7

Day 25 – The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

GRACE. That’s all I can really say on that. Grace. And mercy.

I’m glad this came up. Seems like the perfect time to introduce one of my FAVOURITE bands. They are AWESOME. We all know about acapella. We’ve seen and heard it done a million times. Yes, it can be great. It can be brilliant. But WAIT. There is something MUCH GREATER.


This group. Is. AMAZING. They do VOCAL PLAY. Don’t know what that is? Believe me when I tell you that your life is about to get waaayyy better. And your mind may be blown. Actually, I’m pretty sure it will be. And I’m smart. So you’dbetter wear a helmet before you go any further.

The group is called Naturally 7. 7 guys. 7 very good looking guys, by the way. *whistles* They sing with no musical instruments like drums, bass, guitars, pianos, etc. But there IS music. And the instruments are their voices. YES. They MAKE THE SOUNDS OF OTHER INSTRUMENTS. WITH THEIR VOICES. I know you don’t believe. So I’m going to give it to you on a platter. Right now. Taste and see. Well… Watch and listen. Whatever.

My FAVOURITE of the songs they sing is Say You Love Me. This one doesn’t showcase all that they can do, but it’s my favourite, so it has to be the first (with vocal play).

I should have also mentioned by this point that this is a gospel group. The guys are all Christians. None of their music is secular.

This is where your mind will be blown. Please. Take a moment to click (to fasten) the little strappy thing under your chin. I don’t want brain matter splattering everywhere.

Yeah. That’s real. No faking. I saw them in concert TWICE. I kept looking for the hidden stuff. Nothing. It’s all them. I promise you.

Check this out. They really saaaaang this popular song, Broken Wings.

This is another of my favourites. It really shows what they can do. Remind yourself as you listen to this that everything you hear is made up of the voices of 7 guys. That’s it.

Sometimes, they kinda stick to acapella. Like in this song:

Still amazing, right? Yeah, I know. I wish I could take credit for it.

Now, I have to highlight the skills of my personal favourites, because I’m biased like that.

Yeaaaah! Happy Sunday!

Playlist for Babe

Day 24 – Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

A playlist for My Baaaabe! ūüôā


Look At Me Now – Karmin (Cover)

Because from the moment I saw this online, I loved it, and I kneeew you would too. I knew you would get all excited about it, and we would love it together.


Stereo Love – Edward Maya feat. Vika Jigulina

Because this song played pretty much every time I was ever at your place.


Wavin’ Flag – K’naan feat. will.i.am, David Guetta

Because every time I hear it, I hear you singing it, putting that “magic” special spin on it.


Power – Kanye West

Because one of the first times we went out, when I took you back to your place, you insisted that I had to see this video. We talked about this song in depth on the car ride to your place. It was hilarious. Annnd I know you still don’t remember that night.


Just The Way You Are – Bruno Mars

Because you are the most effortlessly beautiful person. Period. I really could kiss your lips all day, and I DO love your laugh… Your eyes do put the stars to shame… Perfection is what you are. Perfect to me. And for me. You’re amazing.


Only Girl – Rihanna

Because this is this way I want to feel forever. The way I want it to be. The only one.


Love You Like A Love Song – Selena Gomez

I heard this on the radio, and immediately had to look up the lyrics. I really only heard the chorus, and thought, THIS. IS. MY. LIFE. I love you like a love song. And I really do keep hitting repe-pe-pe-pe-peat.


Firework – Katy Perry

Because, clearly, you are. And there should never be a minute that you don’t remember it.


Forever and For Always – Shania Twain

Because it’s our song. The one that makes us feel like jelly. And get all hair-raised and prickly feeling. And smiling from the inside out. Because it’s your song to me, and my song to you.


Pretty Baby – Vanessa Carlton

This song make me smile every single time I hear it. Just like you make me smile every single time I see you. And this is one of the first songs you ever sang to me. On Skype. Sweetest thing ever.


Words – Anthony David feat. India Arie

Because it’s everything I feel in so many moments with you.


Cuppycake – Amy Castle

Because. You. Are. Sooo dearrr! ūüôā

Missed Opportunity

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

There are lots of things I’d still like to do. Some of those things are on my good ol’ Life List. Since I have more life left, anything I wish I had done would have to be something I could no longer do, right? Hmmm… I guess I wish I took a grad picture. I procrastinated and procrastinated until I just didn’t care. I figured it didn’t really make a difference whether or not my picture is in the yearbook in the grad section, and I certainly didn’t need to share pictures with family. I had a camera. We could just take pictures at the graduation or whatever. Who cares? The degree is enough.

Actually, now that I think about it, I wish I’d continued in the valedictorian speech competition. Based on the speech the ended up being given at the convocation, I would have kicked butt. Badly. I made it to the final round, but didn’t get there in time for my appointment to deliver the speech to the judges. I was on my way to the bus stop when an older lady fell. She slipped on ice. I made the judgement call quickly. I stayed with her and called for help. By the time that I was able to leave, the bus was gone. I waited for the next one, went to the room I was supposed to go to, and it was too late. I could have pulled rank, called in a few favours, and got to do it, but I didn’t. I was already tired, and figured the judges would be a bit biased against me anyway. I should have pushed to do it anyway. Then, I would have done my part, and it would have been in their hands. Oh, well. Such is life. All focus on the road ahead.

Back to 30 Days of Truth

Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Yeah, I’ve been slacking on these 30 days of truth. It’s not because I’m determined to lie. No one said the days of truth had to be on a stretch, uninterrupted. Right? And then I got stuck on certain prompts. Some, I felt like I didn’t have time to approach, and needed to wait until I had enough time to properly answer. This one, I just think is really lame, and I don’t have much to say. I wanted to find a clever way to skip it. Didn’t. Hahaha.

So… If that happened, I’d do whatever is instinctive. This may seem a bit much, but this is the way my brain works, ok? I need to break this down into possibilities. Consider it a personal favour that I don’t break down the fight (petty vs. serious, resolved issues vs. unresolved issue, etc.).

LIVES – If he/she lives, he/she could be in different situations.

LIVES + UNCONSCIOUS – Visit daily. Encourage him/her to come back/wake up.

LIVE + CONSCIOUS – He/she could be at home or in the hospital (won’t get into different areas), different conditions (critical/stable/fair/good, emotional states of being, possible memory loss. The way I approach it would depend on all that, but I’d definitely take care of any unfinished business. Apologize where necessary, explain what needs to be explained, help him/her through whatever is going on.

Okay, I’m not going to break it down any further than that. It’s probably enough to say that I’d be there. I would make every effort to be as present as possible. I’d fulfil my best friend duties, without a doubt. (This is assuming that the fight wasn’t about something outrageous like him/her killing my spouse without my express permission.) I may feel bad about the fight we had right before it happened, but I don’t think I’d blame myself or beat myself up about it because arguments happen – some for good reason, others just because… I don’t know. I’d just hope and pray for the best possible outcome and do my part, whatever that is.



How Bad Are Drugs and Alcohol?

Day 20: Your views on drugs/alcohol

I’m not a fan of either one. I feel slightly more strongly about one than the other, but I know that I shouldn’t. Because they’re one in the same. Alcohol is a drug. And it should be viewed as such. But it’s not.

People like to say, “Everything in moderation,” but I like, “Really?! EVERYthing?!” Maybe not. Crystal meth in moderation. Cool beans. NO. NOT REALLY.

Some part me feel like people should stick with what is legal. Drugs are bad. Don’t do any of them. Alcohol is fine. Drink. Get drunk. Get loose. Just don’t drive. But wait. If you’ve had so much to drink that you can’t safely operate a vehicle, you’ve definitely had too much. If you’re doing things you won’t remember tomorrow, and wouldn’t have done if you hadn’t had so much to drink, you’ve had too much. But now… Think about this. What about SUGAR?! Imagine a regular 5 year old. Maybe 20 minutes after a nice, healthy breakfast. Okay. Now imagine the same 5 year old after a birthday party where lots of cake, candy, and ice cream was consumed. That 5 year old is probably doing things he/she wouldn’t do without the encouragement of a sugar rush. He/She has had too much. Bouncing off the walls. Is that any better than a person having too much to drink, and acting out of character? Not really, eh? It’s all unhealthy. So maybe moderation is best. Or maybe we should stay away from all of these things that have the power to take over our systems and turn us into different people.

Anyway, overall, I’m completely against the use of substances that cause harm to the body, mind, or spirit. We need to keep ourselves in the best of health. It’s difficult to know what is best because the rules keep changing. Wheat is good, wheat is bad. There are drugs (medicines) that make people feel better and ease symptoms, but have side effects that could cause death. Who’s to say that’s any better than illegal substances that make a homeless person who feels his/her life has no value feel better able to function and deal with the troubles of the world?

This seems like a question that should have a pretty cut and dry response, but it’s not so simple when you really think about it, is it? Be completely honest. Be logical. Be practical. Be literally. Idealistic, even. Really, truly THINK about it. The only thing you can really be sure of is what seems/feels right FOR YOU.

For me, illegal drugs are not an option. I’m not even down for marijuana. Now, if I had cancer, and it could cure me, or relieve me of horrible death-like symptoms, LIGHT ME UP A JOINT. I’ll smoke it. But I’ve never smoked anything in my life, and don’t plan on it. Alcohol is nothing special to me. I don’t make plans to go out and get “totally wasted” or anything. BUT. I love me some tequila. And I have had a few drunken nights. I much prefer being a little tipsy and remembering the fun I had though. Drunkenness isn’t my best state of being. That’s just me. Probably not the same for you.


What do YOU think? Ever done drugs? Do you consume alcohol regularly? Are (illegal) drugs and alcohol much worse than medicinal drugs, sugars, and other things in our diet that seem to be slowly killing us?

Walk In Love

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

What a question! Let’s start with a definition, just to make sure we’re on the same page.





a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.

the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.

the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.

the practice of religious  beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
Ok, there we go.
I really don’t know enough about enough religions to speak on this very conclusively. I grew up in a “Christian home” and went to a “Christian school” and attended church. Christianity is the religion that I know the most about. My standpoint on the religion has changed over the years. As I address this question, keep in mind that I am largely speaking from a Christian background, and do not intend to insult/debunk/disrespect any particular religion.
  • Religion is a form of separation. It’s another one of those things that forms little groups, breaking down humanity. It’s something else to set us apart from one another. It wasn’t enough to have male and female, various races, different nationalities. There’s another thing to divide us. A cause of conflict, war, intense disagreements that often lead to radical action. Difference in belief of how the world began, who God is, how He/She should be worshipped, how He/She wants us to live, etc. Religion. A divider.
  • Man-made. People, a zillion years ago, came up with the stuff that so many people insist on basing their lives on. PEOPLE made this stuff. PEOPLE wrote the books that, people now believe, tell us how to live our lives today. PEOPLE. Not God. Show me a book that God wrote. I’m not talking about God-breathed or God-inspired. I’m talking about a book that God zapped onto the planet. A book that Jesus (or whatever God walked the earth) sat down and wrote to give us direction. Please show me that book.
  • Religion seems to run nations. Countries tend to base their laws on the dominant religion.
  • Religion is the standard people use to judge others by.
  • Families and communities are often torn apart by (differences in) religion.
  • There are too many different religions.
  • There is no way to be certain that any religion is “the right one.”
  • Religion would definitely be better if there was just ONE, and it brought people together. Too many options, in this case, tears the world apart. That can’t be what God wants, can it?
  • Pretty much every religion probably has some principle or underlying reasoning/doctrine that would be great and beneficial for everyone to live by. It’s just the practices and specific requirements (like having to worship on Saturday, or having to cover every part of the body except for the eyes) that get crazy and make things so messy and disagreeable.
  • Religion would have us believe that believing and striving to do the right thing is not enough. Our daily lives are dictated in the littlest and the biggest of ways. What we eat, what we drink, how we dress, the hours we work, the ways we decorate our bodies, our relationships and interactions…
  • Religion nullifies and voids every bit of free will. It can’t be “free will” if only one choice will allow us to live without condemnation and fear of burning in a lake of fire for all of eternity. That’s coercion. Blackmail, even!
  • Religion pretty much fails to do everything it claims it is good for, and manages to do everything that it probably shouldn’t.
  • Religion is a form of control. Control of the mind, control of the body…
  • To be a part of a religion is to give up oneself. One’s freedom. One’s will. Everything is predetermined. It’s like being a machine. Imagine being of any religious persuasion. Imagine that you follow all of the rules. ALL of them. You are good enough to be a priest/preacher/teacher of the faith. Is that really living? Is there any of YOU in there?
  • All religion should be abolished. Done away with. We need to get back to the basics. Back to the principles that many of the existing religions were built upon. Love, respect, honour, forgiveness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, truthfulness…
  • I believe that a few verses from The Bible are the perfect description of the way that we should live our lives with and among one another. I am quoting from The Bible not because I believe it to be superior or of higher value, but because it is the religious book with which I am most familiar. I’m happy to share some of the verses I find meaningful in the following points:
  • I Corinthians 13. The entire chapter. Some of it seems a bit mumbo-jumbo-ish, but if you read it from a place of openness and honesty (with yourself), you will see what I see every time I read it. I know it, now, by heart. Every time I think of love – what love truly is – this is what automatically comes to mind. Not from a religious standpoint. Not as a born-and-raised Christian. As a person with a true understanding of love. True, unrelenting, for-no-real-reason, without-fail, undying love. This scripture is the reason that I say my religion is LOVE. And my mantra is WALK IN LOVE. If we all lived this way, and loved this way, can you imagine there ever being war? Debilitating sadness? Anger? This is the way to live. Without envy. Without pride. Without keeping score. Just patience, and kindness.
  • Matthew 22:36-40. Love God first. Easy enough. Whatever/Whoever God is to you. Love THAT. And then, almost to prove your love to God, love your NEIGHBOUR. But don’t just love your neighbour like blaaaah. LOVE your neighbour. Like you LOVE YOURSELF. What a concept! Love the people around you. The people you come in contact with. Love them with the same love that you love YOURSELF with. HOLY, everything! Imagine living in THAT world. Where that’s the religion. IMAGINE IT!
  • Romans 3:23. So simple, yet so profound. No one is greater than another. ALL have fallen short. This is so well coupled with Matthew 7:1-5. Do not judge. Focus on yourself. Get your own life together.
  • Phillipians 4:8. I guess this is where the law of attraction stuff started. Think positively. Focus on the positive. Put your energy into the things you want. Think on the things that you WANT to happen. Not the things you hope do NOT happen. This reminds me of the Buddhist quote: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.”
  • The Beatitudes (Matthew 5). It’s cause and effect. Be good, and you will attract goodness.
  • The Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). All of the things that would make up the perfect religion way of living.
We need a “religion,” as people. We need something or someone to tell us how to live. We need a measuring stick. We need instructions. By nature. We need to know what is right and what is wrong. We need a separation. We need a way to know who our friends are, and who our enemies are. We need to make distinctions. We need to make clear the differences. We are not content with the fact that we are all the same. We are people. Cut from the same cloth. Yes, we all look different. We are of different complexions, have different hair colours, different shoe sizes… We favour different colours. We cook different foods. We like different movies. But at the core, are we that different? We all need food and water to survive. We are linked by our needs. We need the same things. We long for the same things. The ways we go about getting them may differ. The ways that we live may differ. What we believe may differ. Is that so wrong? To have differences? Especially when we are so very THE SAME. Strange, isn’t it?
It’s past the time that we should have shed these silly hatreds and superiority/inferiority complexes. It’s past the time that we should have been finding a way to live amicably. We all inhabit ONE earth. That’s all we have. The land that we live on. The way we treat it, and the way we treat one another is what tends to define us as people. If we want to be GOOD, then we need to BE good. EXUDE GOODNESS. Know love. Live love. WALK. IN. LOVE. I believe that love is paramount. I practice love daily. (Look at definition #2.) That’s my religion. What’s yours?
In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true. – Buddha

Keep Your Own Marriage Straight

Day 18 – Your views on gay marriage

“With some much sadness in the world, when two people find happiness, it’s a celebration!” [Words of a friend during a conversation about equality, gay rights, and marriage.]

I don’t have views specific to gay marriage. I have views on marriage.

Marriage is a commitment and legal union between and of two people. It’s one of those things that keeps evolving, and lots people kick and scream throughout the evolution as if they are directly effected. It’s quite funny, actually. In a hundred years, people will look back at the fight for/against gay marriage in the same way that we look and scoff at the days when interracial and interclass marriage was a big no-no. The same way that we look at the 1800s when we read about young girls being made to marry older dukes because it would be good for the family.

Do a little research. Look at the history of marriage. This institution that we make a huge deal about. Women were forced to marry male heirs (sometimes close relatives) for money and/or to boost or maintain her family name. Couples were forced together by way of arranged marriage. Marriage “for love” only really came about some time in the 18th century. Even then, there were barriers. If the family said no, it was a no. The 20th century saw the rises and falls of marriage for love. Let’s date! No need to get married though. Oh, wait! Nuclear families are the “in” thing! MUST MARRY! Wait, we’re all on happy juice, wearing our bell-bottomed jeans and t-shirts with peace signs all over them. ALL WE NEED IS LOOOOOVE.¬†*butterfly and glitter float through the air* Marriage? PSSH! And HELLOOOOO, 2000! The ultimate expression of love is marriage with a lavish wedding. Gotta get a ring!

Somewhere in there, marriage become super-religious. How? I have no idea. It’s ridiculous. Which Christian came up with the brilliant idea that marriage is a Christian thing and should follow the rules of The Bible?¬†[Slight tangent: Do we even know those people who wrote The Bible? Didn’t The Bible have an update known as “The New Testament” shortly after the first part? It’s been thousands of years, hasn’t it? Is it not time for a new version? Times have changed even more now than they had between the period of not being able to eat certain meats and suddenly being able to eat them because they were made clean. Right? Anyway, I digress…] I have the same question for every other religion out there that thinks it owns the rights to marriage. It’s LEGAL. Not religious. Now, of course, some of us have religious beliefs that somehow become intertwined with our marriage ceremonies and marriage lives. Fine. To each his own.

I believe that every marriage, gay or not, is separate and unto itself. The people in the union decide what it is all about. Today, we have Make Your Own Rules Marriages. WOO! Fun, right? Pick a guy. Pick a girl. Do it for love. Do it for stability. Do it for fear of eternal loneliness. Do it because you’re pregnant and don’t want to look like a bad person. Do it because you need residency/citizenship. Do it because you’re drunk and really close to a wedding chapel. Do it because you’ve been a relationship for really long and people keep asking what you’re waiting for. Do it because you really just need to live out your dream. Wedding, that is. Do it for whatever reason you like.

As long as the other person in the union is in on it, I cry no foul. It does not effect me AT ALL whether you marry someone of your own race, someone of my race, someone of various races, someone of the male species or the female species. I don’t care. Really, I don’t. I don’t even care if you get a divorce.

That brings me to another point. For the people who think gay marriage somehow brings down the institution of marriage, PLEASE have a look at the people who have been doing it wrong and failing at it for years and years and years. Does that not bring down the institution of marriage?! In any case, how do you need to measure the value of your marriage against marriages of others?! You probably have some issues of your own, and you may want to look into them before you end up in Divorce Court.

Final word on gay marriage – I’m not against it. Actually, I’m for it. And I’ll probably end up being a part of one. *shrugs* Does that affect you at all? Probably not. I think it’s past the time where we need to stop boxing people in. It’s time to stop trying to force people to live by our rules and standards. It’s time to stop trying to make it ILLEGAL for people to go against our beliefs when it does not hurt us in any way. It’s time to LIVE OUR OWN LIVES and be happy, and allow others to do the same. Go to bed with whoever you please at night. Wear matching rings with that person. Have babies. Be legally united. Share income, debt, taxes, healthcare… And be happy. And allow others to do the same.

Better things to be loud and crazy and raise hell about: Cure for cancer, cure for AIDS, reducing cost of healthcare, reducing cost of medication, the social system, consumerism (and methods of advertising, particularly through children), the education system, cost of higher education, illiteracy, lack of water, food, and sanitation (while single people ride around in luxury SUVs and unspeakable amounts of food end up in the garbage), war.

Remember, it’s better to be gay than to be miserable. ūüôā