“I’m looking for a woman with values.”
Whenever I hear these words, I cringe.
I thumb the crosses on my bracelet and clutch my beer. I talk about charity, then I tell a dirty joke. Do these things cancel each other out?
Those words are powerful. They transform me into a little, obedient, people-pleasing ladytype. It doesn’t matter whether I’m actually interested in the person who wants a “woman with values” (usually, I’m not). It doesn’t matter how confident I am in what I stand for or what I do on any other day. There is a person in the room ready to judge if I am a good woman. If I would be a good mother. If I would be a good wife. And I don’t like that I respond to that by melting into conformity, but I do. I drip with semi-sweet small talk. I rarely seek…
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