This week, Thankful Thursday is difficult. I’m having a rough time. I’m not meeting any of my goals, really. I haven’t been running or writing. Hell. I’ve hardly even been reading. My work days have been very exhausting. When I get home, I really have to drag myself to the shower. I am fatigued by the people I work with. I am convinced that there are all different brands of crazy. Nothing is good enough. Nothing is done fast enough.
Really, everyone is stressed. The event is in 3 weeks. It seems that the committee/board does not handle pressure well. At all. They all fold, crumble, or become as stiff as a board. It’s ridiculous. I’m not the type to freak out. No matter what. The world could be falling apart around me, but I would maintain my cool, and think about the next step. I think it freaks them out that I don’t freak out. It must translate as I am nonchalant and nothing moves me. It’s not that. It’s just that I will not be shaken, and I will not fall apart.
Here are some examples (and feel free to skip them if you like) of the silly things that have been going on and piling up in my mind:
-They asked me to produce a weekly report stating what I have done all week, and what I plan to do the next week. I have done this in MS Word and emailed it to them every Friday. A few months in, one of them emailed me asking that I do not use attachments, but put it in the body of the email as the attachment creates too much work. Fine. I still did it in Word for my own records, and copied and pasted it to the body of the emails. A few months ago, they all got gung-ho about Google Docs (which I HATE). Fine. They decided that sending a bunch of separate threads of emails is crazy. Let’s just share everything in Google Docs. Whatever. So I’ve been uploading my reports to GoogleDocs and sending email notifications of it. Yesterday, S asked me, “What happened to your reports?” Uh… What?! Apparently, for months now, they have all been under the impression that I just stopped doing them. She wanted to know why I stopped sending them individual emails. WHAAAAAT?! Excuse me while I put myself in timeout.
-I’ve been organizing the delivery/collection of promo items from sponsors to be included in participant bags. One of the sponsors I’ve been dealing with for MONTHS just dropped a bomb on me. Their promo items won’t be delivered until next week Thursday. We’re stuffing the bags on Monday and Tuesday. This is a problem. Guess what. The committee thinks this is my fault. Forget that I have called the sponsor numerous times AND emailed with the deadlines. Forget that I left messages for them from Thursday of last week until Tuesday while they were away. Forget all of that. It is MY fault because *I* didn’t translate the urgency to them. HA! I emailed the overall coordinator who is receiving all items since we are stuffing bags at her house. It said, “Good morning [Woman], I just received a response from [Sponsor] on the [promo item]. They will be delivered next week Thursday.” This email is a huge problem because I did not state explicitly that this a problem and does not work with our current schedule for bag stuffing. Why is that necessary again? Do we not all know the schedule? They can’t CHANGE the delivery date MAGICALLY, ok? We have to work with what we’ve got. We may have to drop that item in the bags later, or hand them out with the bags, or have participants collect them at the start line. No, it’s not as seamless, but it CAN WORK. What will not work is harping on the problem.
-They were under the impression that I have not been checking in on the signs we’re having done/revamped. In reality, I have emailed him at least twice per day. I have been calling him at least once per day. He now answer the phone, “Hi, Alicia, from [organization name].” I told S (who called the meeting) that I have been in constant communication with him. She had no response so A (who was just sitting there, doing whatever, listening – I have no idea why she was even there other than to be entertained) said, “Yes, but we don’t know that you’re doing these things. You never told us.” Ok. So in addition to the weekly reports, I should create a GoogleDoc detailing the time I spend emailing/calling people? Please. Do not do this to me.
You know what… At the end of the day, I am thankful for a few things.
- I know myself.
- I know that I am competent.
- I know that I am intelligent.
- I do not feel the need to overcompensate for issues that people have that really have nothing to do with me.
- I know my worth.
- I know that I deserve to be treated with respect.
- It is not my fault when someone else screws up. It doesn’t matter if it is a committee member, a founder, a sponsor, a supplier, or a participant. I will not hold myself responsible for another person’s mess.
- I continuously go above and beyond the call of duty.
- All of my work is a reflection of me, my abilities, and my work ethic. What other people see or know me to be doing is not. That is not the entire picture.
- There is no need for me to detail everything that I have done when my tasks are clear, and completed as given.
- There are more opportunities available to me than I can imagine.
- I have to sit in the driver’s seat of my life. That includes my career.
- All that glitters is not gold.
- I need to find a way out.
- I need to be prudent. My next few decisions must be made carefully.
Enough about me! How about you? What are you thankful for?