A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

Thankful Thursday

This has to be the most difficult Thankful Thursday post ever. I know, I know. I’m only one line in. Hmmm…

I really haven’t enjoyed life lately. Now, that may be partly my fault. Maybe I haven’t done what it would take. Maybe I’ve wallowed in sorrows and misery. Maybe I missed opportunities. I don’t know. Whatever it is that I did wrong (or didn’t do correctly), the result is non-Liciness. You know what’s weird? One minute, I can be quite fine. Then, all of a sudden, SADNESS. Or the grayest grief. Or anger. Or confusion. Or extreme tiredness and lethargy.

Grammy died on Friday, and the funeral was going to be on Saturday (of this week). Well, it’s a no-go because there’s a funeral scheduled at the church at 11am. If it was a bit early, we could have done a 2pm service. No-go. Weekdays are out of the question, apparently. Why? I don’t know. I don’t see what the big deal is. Anyway, the children (of Grammy) have decided that it will be NEXT week Saturday. *looks around for “Bang Head Here” sign* Seriously… How painful! The time in between is the absolute WORST. I just want it to be done. I feel like the funeral will be the thing that I need to get back into gear. Close the chapter of horrible emotions. Anyway… What could I do?

So the hard part… Thinking of things to be thankful for…

  • Change in weather. It’s cooler now. Nothing drastic. It’s not snowing or anything. It’s just substantially different from the the usual 85 degree in the freaking shade. We’re probably in the 70s. FINALLY. It was a WARM Christmas. Anyway, I’m glad it’s cooler. I sleep much better in cooler weather. And I don’t feel the need to shower 12 times every day. Yay.
  • Doritos (Cool Ranch) on my desk. It was good thinking for Babe to bring this can of chips here.
  • 100 days away from Ride for Hope 7! So exciting!
  • I don’t need to buy a bunch of stuff for the funeral. I have unworn black (and black/white) dresses and black shoes. I also have super short hair, so I don’t need to make a hair appointment, spend a bunch of money, or spend hours in a salon. The only purchases I may make are for a black bag (which I need anyway) and a black shawl (because I think I’m going to wear a dress with straps, not sleeves) to make myself decent in the Catholic church.
  • My little 140 character story being Story of the Day yesterday on one forty fiction. Go have a look, and critique. 🙂 (Of course it’s the one by “Lovely_Lici”)
  • No more pain for Grammy.
  • Staci. A really, really good friend to my mother.

 

That’s it for this week. I’d love to see what you’re thankful for. Link up to the blogroll too, if ya like.

What are you thankful for?

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Comments on: "Thankful Thursday" (16)

  1. Losing somebody and grief are natural parts of life. Nobody expects you to be outright cheery all the time and it would, in fact, be a delusion (which is natural, too) and if continued, unhealthy.

    Carrying on with what needs to be done is also a part of life. We’re no longer given grieving periods so it sounds just about right, that you’ll be going on with your day, then awash with sorrow. That’s grief, not depression.

    Hugs!

    • Thanks, madtante! It better not be depression! I can’t afford happy pills. Lol.

      For the most part, I’m feeling (and have been) very quiet. I don’t feel much like talking. Typing? Sure. Talking? No. Some people may feel slighted, but whatever. That’s better than snappiness (which happens if I feel forced to speak.) I can’t baby anyone else right now. I haven’t the energy. Or desire.

  2. So sorry for the loss of your dear granny. I know your heart is full of sorrow right now, asking God to love on you extra sweetly.

  3. theladyinredink said:

    I’m very sorry to hear about your gram. Hang in there for that extra time before the funeral. Hugs to you, my dear.

    • Thanks, Lady. 🙂 I’ve been burying myself in work and a really good book (Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children). I’m just trying not to read it too quickly.

  4. Oh hun I am so sorry about your Grammy. I don’t think it’s even a little bit your fault if you haven’t been enjoying life lately. You’re grieving, and grief is hard and painful. Big hugs x

  5. First of all, so sorry to hear of your loss of your granny. Its often difficult to find joy when things around you are crashing in. I can relate, I lost my dad this past year and I felt so sad for so long but what I love about your attitude is that even in the midst of your pain and sadness you choose to be thankful. Gods Word says to give thanks in ALL things…however, not ALL things are good but God rewards a thankful heart. May you feel Gods arms and know that He stands with you. ((blessings))

  6. I love this thankful Thursday idea! I’m looking for idea for the new year so I may pinch this.

    I’m sorry for your grief. I hope you are comforted by the time she spent. Treasure those memories :-).

    Kx

  7. thinking of you and sending positive energy your way… be patient with yourself. it takes time to heal.

  8. Just Rambling said:

    I’m sorry they had to reschedule the funeral, I totally understand you want to be able to close that chapter!

    Temperatures in the 70s? That sounds like heaven! 😛

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