A random, eclectic mix of thoughts, feelings, observations, and experiences – LIFE

I don’t like Beyonce. In fact, I intensely dislike her. A lot of people are shocked by this, and it has nothing to do with me, or who I am. People just expect that everyone likes the wench. Not me. No sirree. Why? Well, let me give you my top 11 reasons.

Note: If you a fan of hers, and you are easily offended, you may not want to proceed. Also, my reasons are very skin-deep. If you’re expecting something groundbreaking or really intellectual, don’t bother. It’s not here. I’m working through grief in an odd way. I’m finding myself very angry, and I have to direct it somewhere, right? Yeah. So I pick Beyonce.

  • Destiny’s Child. Remember them? Remember the other people in the “group” or not? I don’t understand why the “group” existed since, really, she was the singer, and the girls were her backup. She had all of the lyrics. She was always in front of them. Why, why, why? Just BE A SOLO ARTIST. Don’t have other talented women as your friggin’ background goons.
  • Self-centred. She is far too into herself. You can see it. It drips off of her. From Destiny’s Child days. (Ok, so I’m a little bitter about those days. Kelly and Latoya should have had more shine, ok?!)
  • Fake. She is far too fake. I’m convinced that the voice she uses in interviews is not her real speaking voice. Use your real voice, Beyonce! And if that IS her real voice, her lousy, fake-sounding voice is a good reason not too like her too.
  • The stupid little fake laugh she does. Ih-hih-hih. It’s not even long enough. There is no real laughness in it. You know? Like, really, if you don’t think something is funny, don’t fake a laugh. She does it at questions. It’s like a time-killer. A moment to think. Oh, I think I’ll fake a little laugh first, and maybe by then, I can use my fake voice, reserved only for interviews, to give some lame answer where I’m probably gonna lie.
  • It's like he never fully recovered from an allergic reaction...

    Jay-Z. Seriously, Beyonce?! You. And Jay-Z. Are in love. No. No, no, no. I am not accepting that. You two have combined to form some sort of super power that is even greated than the devil. You are so hungry for fame and being important that you are willing to give birth to the anti… Anyway. Whatever.

  • Illuminati. Yeah. That’s right. If it exists, she and her stupid husband are at the forefront.
  • The stylist clearly forgot to relax, bleach + colour, and flat iron

    Weave. It is horrible. I mean… She has money! She can afford the good stuff. The length is too much. The colour is horrible. The texture. How dry it is. The amount… Just… No. Is is SUPPOSED to look real?! WHERE IS YOUR HAIR, BEYONCE?! *whispers* Do you have any?

  • Stupid, stupid, stupid, awful songs. I refuse to list any because that would mean I’d have to think of them too intently. One that is already in mind is that horrid onnne. and. onnne. is [screechy, high-pitched, annoying voice] TWO! I’n. gat [same stupid voice] YOU. A neighbour was playing this loudly one night, and I seriously wanted it to be Beyonce herself, singing the song outside my window, so that I could cut her (voice out). Yeah. It’s that serious.
  • Pregnancy. Seriously. She felt the need to announce it THAT way? Really now… Not necessary. Then she proceeded to have performances where she wore the most ridiculous shoes. (Like she hasn’t fallen WITHOUT being pregnant. HA!) Do you CARE about your baby, Beyonce? Oh, right. I almost forgot. You’re the most amazingly great person ever, you know all things, and nothing bad would ever happen to you or your baby. Even if you booty-shake like the last stripper on earth in shoes high enough to dislodge your womb. Right. How could I forget that?
  • Fans. Stans. She has to be the only person who has these ridiculously fight-ready people following her. They are deep in her life, counting her menstrual cycles, memorizing lyrics to all of her songs, doing choreography of her videos (mentally or physically) every time her songs play, and prepared to assault (verbally and physically) anyone who does not believe her to be the queen. Of anything.
  • Beyonce. Just look at it. If ANYone ever needed a stage name, it was HER. YUCK. It sounds like an awful bodily fluid that could suffucate a person. Just saying.

*steps back* Hmmm… That got a little messy, didn’t it? *brushes dust from hands* Ok. All set. Now let me have your thoughts. 🙂

Do you like Beyonce? Why? (If you don’t like her, I totally get it!) Do you intensely dislike any celebrities?

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Comments on: "11 Reasons for Disliking Beyonce" (14)

  1. Ha ha ha 11 reasons, not even 10 lol! Ha ha ha the fake laugh is not even long enough?!? Whaaaaat? Who determines how long a laugh should be OMGoodness Lici *rolls eyes at you*…
    *Resumes reading…*
    Jazy Z is listed as a REASON!?? ahhh-hahahah!
    I can HEAR the “YOU!” in the song as I read ugggh.
    You’re right about her having “Fight-Ready Fans”. In fact, you should trademark that phrase and sell t-shirts!

    • I just couldn’t stop. LOL.
      The laugh thing… You’ll have to hear it to know what I’m saying. It is too short to be real. No one laughs that abruptly.
      Jay-Z would be reason enough, all alone. LOL.
      No comment on the branded shirts.

  2. OMG! This is so freaking hilarious!! I totally feel you on this. I am certainly not a fan and when I say that people tend to think I’m hating. NOT! She’s so overrated. 🙂

    • YESSSSS! An ally! LOL.
      It would be nice if people could figure out the difference between hating and exercising the right to have an opinion (even if it differs from the crowd’s), wouldn’t it?

  3. Hhaha. I don’t dislike Beyonce, but your reasons are FUNNY. Especially about Jay-Z!! fair enough suspicion.

  4. Just Rambling said:

    I’m so sorry, but your anger makes me laugh! This was soooooooo funny! I totally agree, just so you know… 😉

  5. Wow ur such a hater and have no life smh

  6. The first reason (abt the fake laugh) was
    Definitely on point. I do agree that she
    Seems fake. Its not our fault she lacks personality.
    As for me, I tend to like celebrities who are more… Um, human.
    People who may occasionally say the “wrong” thing.
    Who might end up in a tabloid or two. Who have
    emotional breakdowns, from time to time, hell.
    And it is kind of creepy that EVERY time I see
    someone express any kind of dislike for her, they get
    tons of backlash. Just saying.

  7. What the heck… seriously… I just read this for fun, but dude, you must have some mental issues. I don’t like or dislike Beyonce, she’s like whatever, even though she seems to be a really nice person – but oh, I don’t know her. And I suppose you don’t either. Funny, huh? Her laugh is too fake? TOO SHORT? OH YEAH, BECAUSE THERE’S A RIGHT WAY TO LAUGH. I forgot. “She’s too into herself”, MAYBE BECAUSE SHE CAN? Because she has a fucking good voice/body/face? And who are you…? Ooops. Illuminate shit is a reason, uh-huh. Also, I think you waste too much time on her, you know? If you hate her, why on earth do you watch her interviews? Or even pay attention to her? You have too much hate in your heart, sweetie. I do, too, but I don’t go around saying bad things about people I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. But since you do that, I feel like I can do this as well. You are retarded. Die, please, the world doesn’t need you… like, at all. 🙂
    And about your question, I didn’t dislike anybody, but now i certainly dislike you. Very much.

    PS: Never thought I would support Beyonce this much, you were just too disgusting.

    • Thanks for taking the time to comment. 🙂
      I’ll see what I can do about my mental issues, and try to scrape the hate from my heart. I can’t help you with the dying part though. *shrugs*
      I’m happy to reveal to you how much you really like someone without even knowing it. 🙂

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