Rough day, y’all. I spent a lot of time trying to decide whether or not I should post about it. I ended up in between the two, so I’m going to be kind of vague. By the end of this post, I may spill all of the beans. You may piece it all together, depending on the way that I say what I say. Clearly, I have no idea how I’m going to do this yet. I AM going to do it though. Therapy.
- I’m not talking about this with the appropriate party because it’s futile, and likely only to serve in making me a lot more upset than I already am. That annoys me to start with.
- It is completely inappropriate, random, and stupid for a person to demand (or even request) that someone else MAKE and BRING them something to eat. Seriously?! Who ARE you?! You take that type of request to a parent, spouse, life partner, or personal chef. What.the.eff?! If someone asked that of me, I would let them know, straight up, that it’s not my job, it’s not okay to ask me something like that, AND making a meal for someone is a very personal, intimate thing. You don’t just make sandwiches for random people working in your building, or casual acquaintances.
- If someone with a husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend ever made and delivered food to me, I’d question their relationship. Not gonna lie. I’d wonder if the significant other was aware, and how he/she felt about it.
- People only treat us the way we allow them to treat us. People learn from the way we interact with them how to interact with us. Really, we train people to deal with us. We reap what we sow.
- Somehow, I pick up things about people. Sense things. Nothing freaky. I just know in an instant whether or not a person is genuine, sort of. I can’t really explain it. Anyway. I’ve never been wrong about it. There have been times when I’ve ignored it for whatever reason, and got kicked in the bum. I know a freak/weirdo/extra-need person when I met one.
- Yesterday, I ordered a loaf of bread from one of the restaurants that deliver here. Olive loaf. I figured Babe would love it. She loooves olives. $8 for a loaf, y’all. $8. I figure it would be worth it because she’d really enjoy it, just like we enjoyed the $8 asiago loaf I got last week.
- There are a lot of things that I have not done and would never do because I refuse to disrespect myself, Babe, or our relationship. I know that the people in the relationship set the standard. Everyone else just falls in line/follows suit. That’s the way it is.
- I turned down a ride home from someone because I know it’s someone Babe isn’t comfortable with, and doesn’t like knowing is around (or in contact with) me. I found alternatives. Why do something that obviously makes her uncomfortable?! And, I mean, for WHAT?! What would be the purpose of that? For her to feel every single minute that I’m stuck in box with the person on the way home? No. Not happening.
- I hate it when I express my point of view on something, and the person makes me feel like my feelings are not valid. Or my thoughts are crazy. Or I’m some extra sinister, cynical, horrible person. Or I’m frickin’ crazy. Especially when I really do my best to validate their feelings, and be understanding of points of view. We all know that all emotions and all thoughts are not rational, and we won’t share them all. Does that give us the right to disrespect or ignore those that are not in alignment with our own?
- It really bothers me that this has been bothering me for the ENTIRE day, even though I’ve been actively trying to put it out of my mind (except for the time I spent wondering if I should post about it).
- This isn’t a conversation that’s going to be finished later. It’s not something I intend to bring up again. Meaning today, or any other day.
- I haaate when I have those 13-year-old-rebellious-young-person moments when I wanna do something just to prove a point. I refuse to give in to that inclination. I will NOT.
- I fell behind in some work things. I’m disappointed in myself. I could barely look at my work peeps in a meeting today. I really could have cried a few times in those 2 hours, honestly. They didn’t get upset with me or anything. I just felt like I could have had more to offer today.
- I haz a sad.
- I sort of don’t wanna do anything this weekend (any more). Weird, I know.
It’s Thankful Thursday. I need to be thankful. I will in my next post. I was supposed to post pictures of my Denmark goodies today. I don’t feel like. Maybe tomorrow (again)? We’ll see. I’m gonna do Thankful Thursday. Just as soon as I’ve sat on the floor in the corner of my office and had a moment. I’ll wash my face and pat it dry like it’s a new day, come to my computer, put in some work, and be THANKFUL. Stay tuned for that one.
When you’re expressing the way that you feel, how important is it that the person you’re confiding in understands you? Do you necessarily need someone to agree with you when you’re upset about something? How do you get past something that you can’t/won’t address? I know you may be lost with my bullet points, but from what you can tell, am I being a crazy person? Do you think that meal-sharing is intimate?