Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
[After sitting here, staring blankly at the screen, then doing other things for 40 minutes…]
I’m coming up sort of blank. I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that I really believe that life is a series of linked events. For one thing to happen, the thing before it had to have happened. One little change could alter major things. Ok, yes, some things are probably inconsequential, but if there’s something I’d undo, it’s probably big enough to change the course of my life. There are definitely things that I did that I may not have done if I’d thought about them a little more or a little less. There are things I did because I (felt that I) had to. There are things that I did for the wrong reasons, or with the wrong motivation or driving force. Would I really change any of it? Probably not.
I moved back to Nassau, from Halifax. Blech. Bad move, bad move, bad move. I really don’t like it here. Sure, there are things I like about being here, but I dislike some of the same things. I’m glad I’m close enough to family to drop by and visit them, call them for free, etc. That works against me sometimes. I liked the distance that was between us a lot of the time (for varying reasons). My reasons for moving, I have to stand by. I felt that some relatives were getting older, and the time I could spend with them was only reducing. My great-grandmother is 91 years old. My maternal grandmother is 85. My paternal grandmother is about 74, as is my grandaunt. My paternal grandfather died about two years before. My great-grandmother was planning to close her business – one that I grew up in. I spent a lot of time in “the shop” (a ladies’ boutique) from I was a baby until I left for school. Saturdays, school breaks… I spent a lot of them at the shop. I didn’t want it to just disappear. I didn’t want to visit Nassau, to meet a huge parking lot where the business used to be. All of these things prompted me to move back. Then my mother got very ill. It just made sense to be here. It was supposed to be temporary. VERY temporary. It’s still temporary, but was supposed to be WAY more temporary. Hahaha. Moving back is something I wish I didn’t do, but I’m glad I did.
There are other things too… Wasting time at the local college (UGH!), crazy relationship with an idiot, being in a pointless relationship I really didn’t want to be in for pity’s sake…
All lesson learned, really. Did I have to learn them all through those experiences? Maybe not. But I did. And that’s okay.
Do you have regrets? Did you learn lessons or find the greater purpose for certain things you did that you may like to undo? Do you think life is like Jenga? Can you move certain blocks without the whole tower falling down? Are there pivotal pieces that just can’t be moved and leave the tower standing strong?
Completely off topic: Is anyone else having trouble with WordPress? My “Blogs I Follow” and “WordPress Reader” are coming up empty, and I have no idea why. This has been happening from yesterday. I feel like I’m so far behind in blog world. Is this happening to you? If not, do you know how to remedy it? If I lost everything, how do I get my fave blogs back without remembering them all?