Keep Your Own Marriage Straight

Day 18 – Your views on gay marriage

“With some much sadness in the world, when two people find happiness, it’s a celebration!” [Words of a friend during a conversation about equality, gay rights, and marriage.]

I don’t have views specific to gay marriage. I have views on marriage.

Marriage is a commitment and legal union between and of two people. It’s one of those things that keeps evolving, and lots people kick and scream throughout the evolution as if they are directly effected. It’s quite funny, actually. In a hundred years, people will look back at the fight for/against gay marriage in the same way that we look and scoff at the days when interracial and interclass marriage was a big no-no. The same way that we look at the 1800s when we read about young girls being made to marry older dukes because it would be good for the family.

Do a little research. Look at the history of marriage. This institution that we make a huge deal about. Women were forced to marry male heirs (sometimes close relatives) for money and/or to boost or maintain her family name. Couples were forced together by way of arranged marriage. Marriage “for love” only really came about some time in the 18th century. Even then, there were barriers. If the family said no, it was a no. The 20th century saw the rises and falls of marriage for love. Let’s date! No need to get married though. Oh, wait! Nuclear families are the “in” thing! MUST MARRY! Wait, we’re all on happy juice, wearing our bell-bottomed jeans and t-shirts with peace signs all over them. ALL WE NEED IS LOOOOOVE. *butterfly and glitter float through the air* Marriage? PSSH! And HELLOOOOO, 2000! The ultimate expression of love is marriage with a lavish wedding. Gotta get a ring!

Somewhere in there, marriage become super-religious. How? I have no idea. It’s ridiculous. Which Christian came up with the brilliant idea that marriage is a Christian thing and should follow the rules of The Bible? [Slight tangent: Do we even know those people who wrote The Bible? Didn’t The Bible have an update known as “The New Testament” shortly after the first part? It’s been thousands of years, hasn’t it? Is it not time for a new version? Times have changed even more now than they had between the period of not being able to eat certain meats and suddenly being able to eat them because they were made clean. Right? Anyway, I digress…] I have the same question for every other religion out there that thinks it owns the rights to marriage. It’s LEGAL. Not religious. Now, of course, some of us have religious beliefs that somehow become intertwined with our marriage ceremonies and marriage lives. Fine. To each his own.

I believe that every marriage, gay or not, is separate and unto itself. The people in the union decide what it is all about. Today, we have Make Your Own Rules Marriages. WOO! Fun, right? Pick a guy. Pick a girl. Do it for love. Do it for stability. Do it for fear of eternal loneliness. Do it because you’re pregnant and don’t want to look like a bad person. Do it because you need residency/citizenship. Do it because you’re drunk and really close to a wedding chapel. Do it because you’ve been a relationship for really long and people keep asking what you’re waiting for. Do it because you really just need to live out your dream. Wedding, that is. Do it for whatever reason you like.

As long as the other person in the union is in on it, I cry no foul. It does not effect me AT ALL whether you marry someone of your own race, someone of my race, someone of various races, someone of the male species or the female species. I don’t care. Really, I don’t. I don’t even care if you get a divorce.

That brings me to another point. For the people who think gay marriage somehow brings down the institution of marriage, PLEASE have a look at the people who have been doing it wrong and failing at it for years and years and years. Does that not bring down the institution of marriage?! In any case, how do you need to measure the value of your marriage against marriages of others?! You probably have some issues of your own, and you may want to look into them before you end up in Divorce Court.

Final word on gay marriage – I’m not against it. Actually, I’m for it. And I’ll probably end up being a part of one. *shrugs* Does that affect you at all? Probably not. I think it’s past the time where we need to stop boxing people in. It’s time to stop trying to force people to live by our rules and standards. It’s time to stop trying to make it ILLEGAL for people to go against our beliefs when it does not hurt us in any way. It’s time to LIVE OUR OWN LIVES and be happy, and allow others to do the same. Go to bed with whoever you please at night. Wear matching rings with that person. Have babies. Be legally united. Share income, debt, taxes, healthcare… And be happy. And allow others to do the same.

Better things to be loud and crazy and raise hell about: Cure for cancer, cure for AIDS, reducing cost of healthcare, reducing cost of medication, the social system, consumerism (and methods of advertising, particularly through children), the education system, cost of higher education, illiteracy, lack of water, food, and sanitation (while single people ride around in luxury SUVs and unspeakable amounts of food end up in the garbage), war.

Remember, it’s better to be gay than to be miserable. 🙂